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[品评] 针对中青版《分水岭》(Parting the Waters)译本的勘误

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发表于 2017-4-24 16:53 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
今年1月份以来我开始了最新的翻译项目《劈波蹈海——马丁.路德.金三部曲之一》。在开始这个项目之前我进行了大量调查以确定国内出版社并未接手这本书。但是直到上周末我才在豆瓣上发现中国青年出版社已经在2016年11月推出了该书的官方译本,《分水岭——美国民权运动的奋起与挣扎》。按照豆瓣的介绍,“中文版由《失控》翻译团队历时近三年完成,皇皇巨著,近百万字、近千页。为追求文本的准确性和客观性,数位资深专家编校审读长达一年之久。”


第二天我专门去书店请回了一本《分水岭》,希望看看正牌同行历时三年的手艺究竟怎么样。大略看了一下之后我得出了初步结论:以百分制计算,我给我自己的译文打85分,给中青的译文只能打65分。就算考虑到同行相轻的干扰因素,我对《分水岭》的打分也不会超过70分。


如果大家出于对我的不信任而决定购买《分》以便与我的译文对照,我是没意见的。但是我依然强烈建议大家不要出钱购买这本书,因为我非常不想看到中国青年出版史利用一本质量如此低劣的译本来盈利。事实上我认为,为了国内翻译领域的健康发展,任何一位有一定水平的翻译都有义务尽其所能地打压《分》书的盈利空间。这正是我接下来打算做的事情。


因为个人的力量毕竟有限,所以我恳请大家在空闲时间里帮忙将勘误文与《劈》尽可能广泛地加以转载。我相信,民权运动对于我国当前社会发展具有切实的借鉴意义,反映民权运动的资料应当得到最便于接受的编译并且在社会上得到最广泛的传播。我们决不能听任这样一本书在中青手里遭受如此不负责任的糟蹋。


无论出于译者的私心还是社会成员的公心,我都要尽我所能地针对《分》进行攻击。希望能得到大家的支持。


谢谢。

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 楼主| 发表于 2017-4-24 16:55 | 显示全部楼层
本次勘误不考虑以下问题:

一,涉及政治与意识形态,为了通过审查而有意为之的漏译。包括基督徒之间以兄弟姐妹相称的敬语,涉及“共产主义”一词的语句,等等。

二,对于圣经引文的自行翻译而非选取现有译本。

三,语感较差但语法正确的英语从句译法。

原文前标注的页码均为《分水岭》(以下简称《分》)的页码。正译均选自本人的译本《劈波蹈海》(以下简称《劈》)。

最后再说一句,我很想知道中青译者刻意淡化原文的基督教色彩究竟是为了过审还是因为自身对于基督教不够了解。原著三部曲的标题——Parting the Waters,Pillar of Fire,At Canaan's Edge——对应的分别是旧约当中先知摩西生平三件大事——分开红海带领以色列人逃离埃及,在火柱指引下荒野游荡四十年,临终前望见迦南地而不得入。马丁.路德.金本人也曾在遇害前不久将自己比作摩西。因此我认为《劈波蹈海》是比《分水岭》更贴切的译法。


第一章:

P1:Nearly seven hundred Negro communicants, some wearing white robes, marched together in the exodus of 1867.
误:1867年的黑人大迁徙队伍里有一群将近700人的宗教团体,他们中有些人穿着白袍。
正:1867年,将近七百名黑人教会成员——其中有些人穿着白色长袍——并肩迈步发动了一场远征。
分析:700名黑人是行动主体而不是其中的一部分。

P3: And because those same deacons also made it a tradition to choose the best trained, most ambitious ministers, titanic struggles after the fashion of those between European monarchs and nobles became almost a routine of church life at Dexter.
误:……他们效仿欧洲君主与贵族之间的种种展开巨大争斗。这些成了德克斯特浸信会中的常规事务。
正:……因此德克斯特大道浸信会的教会生活内部充满了足以与欧洲王室政治博弈相提并论的激烈冲突。
分析:after the fashion of在此并无主动效仿的意味。黑人教会并不会主动“效仿欧洲君主与贵族”。


P6:That year Nesbitt went home with the name of a prestigious, highly trained candidate for the vacant pulpit at Dexter--a man further recommended to the church's tastes by his attendance at no less than five colleges, and by the possession of four names, Alfred Charles Livingston Arbouin.
误:……因为他至少在5所学院上过学,并且有4个名字……
正:……另外此人不仅上过五所大学,而且他的名字足有四节……
分析:如果真是四个不同的名字,名字之间应用逗号隔开。

P7:Dexter鈥檚 stolid deacons were accustomed to quality, but in Johns they recognized a mind of a higher order altogether.
误:教堂的执事们原本就很敬业……
正:德克斯特的执事们也算见过世面……
分析:be accustomed to quality无论如何也没有敬业的意思。

P7:Vernon Johns was merely another invisible man to nearly all whites, but to the invisible people themselves he was the stuff of legend.
误:对所有的白人来说,弗农.约翰斯仅仅是一位“隐形人”……
正:黑人在绝大部分白人眼里都是不存在的隐身人,弗农.约翰斯也不能例外……
分析:没有译出another一词。

P8:When Price died about 1900, Sallie Price Johns went to the funeral with her young son Vernon and her husband Willie, son of the hanged slave, and sat through the burial services in a separate-but-equal family section, just across the gravesite from Miss Kitty and the white relatives.
误:……萨丽.普赖斯.约翰斯……重新面对这样一种疏离而又平等的家庭关系,耐着性子坚持完整场葬礼,普赖斯就埋在“凯蒂小姐”和其他白人亲戚的坟墓对面。
正:……一家人坐在“分离但平等”的席位上,凯蒂小姐以及普莱斯的白人亲戚们则坐在他们对面,普莱斯的坟墓就隔在双方中间。
分析:separate-but-equal是描述种族关系的专用名词。此外身为白人的普赖斯也没理由不与其他白人埋在一起。最后“凯蒂小姐”和其他白人亲戚是葬礼的参与者而不是已经下葬的死者。

P8: It lay at the extreme northern boundary of the rich agricultural Black Belt……
误:它坐落在黑人居住区最北部的边界……
正:这个县位于丰饶的农业黑土带的最北部边界……
分析:维基百科Black Belt (U.S. region)词条表明,The term originally described the prairies and dark fertile soil of central Alabama and northeast Mississippi. Because this area was developed for cotton **tations based on enslaved African-American labor, the term became associated with these conditions. 从政治角度翻译成黑人区也无妨,但是原文已经点出了agricultural,因此正确译法应当是黑土带。

P9: Poor eyesight caused him to vow as a youth that he would read the small print of the Bible only once.
误:他视力不佳,所以在年轻时曾经乞求能读一遍小号字体印刷的《圣经》也好。
正:他的视力很差,以至于少年时曾经发誓只肯将小字印刷的圣经阅读一遍。
分析:按照误译,原文应为if he could only read the small print of the Bible once

P9:……Oberlin had already turned Johns down because of his worthless credits.
误:……因为约翰斯的学分不够,奥柏林学院已经拒绝了他的申请。
正:奥柏林学院早已决定不录取他了,因为他提供的入学申请资质毫无价值。
分析:只有得到录取之后的学生才有学分。

P9:In later years, he would discard his Latin and Hebrew on aesthetic grounds……
误:后来几年他并没有学习拉丁文和希腊文
正:日后约翰斯将会因为审美口味不合而放弃拉丁语与希伯来语
分析:discard为放弃之意

P10:……he remarked that no country Negro could make the grades Johns was making without cheating.
误:除非作弊,没有哪个国家的黑奴能够取得约翰斯的分数。
正:没有哪个乡下来的黑人能够不靠作弊就取得约翰斯这样的成绩。
分析:Negro是当时对于黑人的政治正确称呼,并没有贬义,更不等同于黑奴。

P10:his brother would often meet him at the station with a fresh horse,
误:他弟弟总是牵着一匹刚出生没多久的马驹在火车站等他,
正:回来时他弟弟经常牵着一匹精神饱满的马匹在车站迎接他。
分析:且不说“刚出生没多久的马驹”能否骑乘,约翰斯每次出门之后家里都要新添马驹也不合常理。

P13:Johns told the chief and his men that the sermon would be open to everyone but that he would be happy to give a preview on the spot, in case they were too intimidated to attend a Negro church.
误:约翰斯告诉局长和警察,布道将会向所有人开放,他相当赞成他们的想法,能立刻来场预演,免得大家太怕进入黑人教堂。
正:约翰斯告诉警察局长和他的部属们,这次布道将会向所有人开放。不过考虑到有些白人兴许没有胆量走进黑人教堂,他也很乐意在各位警官面前现场预演一番。
分析:误译当中的“他相当赞成他们的想法”恐怕是看到he would be happy to 之后的反应。

P17: “I want to pause here in the service, until Dr. Trenholm can get himself seated here on his semi-annual visit to the church.”
误:“讲到这里我要停一下,特伦荷穆博士,您要是能保证每半年来一次,我才能让您在这里坐。”
正:“我想暂停布道,直到特伦霍姆博士坐下来为止。每半年来教堂访问一次的稀客理应得到尊重。”

P18:He named the Alabama State business professors and challenged the congregation to name an actual business to which any of them had ever applied himself.
误:他点名要亚拉巴马州立大学商学院教授回答,还挑战教堂会众,让他们说出一种目前黑人可以效力的商业名称。
正:他点了几位阿拉巴马州立大学商学院教授的名字,并且要求会众们说出哪怕一项他们当中任何一个人曾经亲身经营过的商业活动。

P21:Besides, I get forty calls about fish for every one about religion.
误:此外,因为鱼的问题,我被宗教人士传唤了40次。
正:此外,向我下订单买鱼的电话与向我咨询宗教问题的电话的数量大约是四十比一。
分析:低级错误。

P21:As a deacon known to be personally sympathetic to Johns, and as a member of the minority “Non-teacher clique” that was less hostile toward the preacher, Nesbitt found himself under attack for failing to control Johns, who went on selling produce.
误:……而且他本人也不爱说教,对牧师并没有什么敌意……
正:……作为“非教师派系”少数派的成员,他对于布道人的敌意也没那么大……
分析:前文提到过德克斯特教会大多数成员都是阿拉巴马州立大学教师。

P21:He never opened the pulpit Bibles during his tenure at Dexter, but he wore out at least three of them with his fists.
误:在德克斯特教堂任期内,他从未在讲坛上翻开过圣经,但至少有三次他用尽力气捶在圣经上。
正:他在德克斯特任职期间从未在布道坛上翻看过圣经,但是却用拳头砸烂了至少三本圣经。
分析:wore out有耗损殆尽之意。

P22:……the Ku Klux Klan had burned a cross in his brother’s yard to intimidate the Johns family over a school strike.
误:……在他哥哥家的院子里烧了一座十字架。
正:……在他弟弟的院子里焚烧了一座十字架,
分析:联系下文可知。

P23:NAACP could not sue for better Negro schools--only for completely integrated ones.
误:协进会不能通过诉讼换来更好的黑人学校——除非多所学校作为统一整体进行争取。
正:协进会不能为了提升黑人学校的硬件质量而打官司,只能为了推动彻底种族混合的学校而打官司。
分析:误译完全没有考虑布朗诉托皮卡教育局案件的背景,因此没能正确理解integrated一词。

P24:it was considered a bad sign that ever fewer churchwomen favored the pastor’s house with cooked dishes from their kitchens.
误:从自家厨房拿来饭菜帮助教会的女性会众越来越少。
正:带着亲手烹制的家常菜来到牧师家里串门的女性会众也越来越少见了。
分析:pastor’s house指的是教会为牧师提供的住宅。

P28:She thought it was a fault she shared with her uncle.
误:她认为她一定要帮助伯父分担这次错误带来的后果。
正:她认为她和她大伯都有这个毛病。


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发表于 2017-5-1 16:07 | 显示全部楼层
好厉害,一本讲马丁路德金的书,圣经引文自行翻译
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发表于 2017-5-2 09:21 | 显示全部楼层
yogomove 发表于 2017-5-1 16:07
好厉害,一本讲马丁路德金的书,圣经引文自行翻译

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发表于 2017-5-4 06:15 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
学习了。

—— 来自 HUAWEI GRA-UL10, Android 6.0上的 S1Next-鹅版
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 楼主| 发表于 2017-6-6 15:40 | 显示全部楼层
第二章:

P30:One odd white thread ran through the whole of it: insofar as the Kings encountered anything better than obstruction in the white world, it could be traced more often than not to the influence of a most unlikely source, John D. Rockefeller.
误:……在金还未在白人世界遭遇阻碍时,却和一位看似最不可能跟他有关联的人联系起来……
正:……如果说金家族在白人的世界里除了阻挠障碍之外还遇到过些许善意与扶持,那么后者往往要归结于一位极其出人意料的大人物的影响力……
分析:原句中的Kings指代的不是一个人,而是全体金家人。anything better than obstruction字面意为“比阻碍更好的事物”,而非“尚未遇到阻碍”。

P31: Only he and a few partners knew that he had invented that very year the secret network of interlocking stock pledges--called a trust--through which he would levy a monopoly fee on the industrial development of the entire country.
误:……在那一年他创造了自己的股票抵押秘密关系网——也称为信托……
正:……他在那一年发明了一套相互连锁的股票质押秘密网络——他称其为托拉斯……

P31:The Baptists were descended from the Anabaptists of sixteenth-century Germany, who had rebelled against Martin Luther for not going far enough in his break with the Catholic Church.
误:那里的施洗礼者要追溯到16世纪的德国再洗礼派,作为背叛马丁.路德的一群人,在与天主教教堂分离后并没有走得很远。
正:浸信会的前身是十六世纪德国的再洗礼派。这一教派反对马丁.路德,认为他未能与天主教会彻底分道扬镳。
分析:误译的语法理解能力欠缺与宗教知识欠缺可谓相得益彰。

P32:At the time, no one realized that this strategic acquisition would make the twentieth-century demographics of Atlanta unique among American cities.
误:这次战略性的收购将会让亚特兰大20世纪的人口在美国城市中雄踞榜首
正:当时谁也没有意识到这项战略收购将使得二十世纪的亚特兰大具备在美国城市当中独一无二的人口分布。
分析:误译错误理解了demographic与unique的意思。

P34:……as whites in the South and North generally agreed that there were more important things to do in the world than to contend with each other over the status of the Negro, which was then fixed by science as lowly.
误:……南方白人与北方白人都觉得与黑人竞争实在是有伤体面……
正:……因为南方和北方的白人普遍认同了以下观点:在这世界上还有更重要的事情需要关注,一味为了黑人的地位而争斗不休实在没什么意思……
分析:按照误译,原文应为contend with Negro

P34:The reigning idea was that racial quarrels, while accomplishing nothing since the Civil War, had interfered with business, diverted reform campaigns from more productive fields, and hindered America’s new efforts to win a commanding position in the battle for global influence.
误:当时流行的理念是种族纷争——这个自从内战后就没有一点改善……
正:北方的主流观点认为种族纷争自从内战之后就再也没有带来任何实际好处……

P37:Mike King, later known as Martin Luther King, Sr., and still later as Daddy King, met her while she was studying there.
误:迈克.金以后会更名为大家所熟知的大马丁.路德.金,再以后被人称作金爸爸。
正:迈克.金——日后的老马丁.路德.金以及更久之后的金老爹
分析:兄弟之间才论大小,如大格拉古与小格拉古。父子之间要论老小。误译差了一辈。

P38:He became a professional preacher in the time-honored manner of the ambitious former slaves, before he had been inside a church that could afford an organ.
误:……从前他还去过穷得只能购买一架风琴的教堂。
正:……早在他第一次踏进一座买得起管风琴的教堂大门之前……
分析:风琴是昂贵的奢侈品,不是随便一家教会就能买得起的。

P40:let there be a brick house
误:要有一座砖场。
正:要有一座砖房子。

P43:I like your frankness, but do you think that more people will criticize you on account of my wealth than will criticize me on account of your theology?
误:……但是如此一来更多人会因为你倚仗我的财富来批评你,却不会再由于你的神学理论而批评我,你不认为是这样吗?
正:……但是你认为因为我的财富而骂你的人就一定会比因为你的神学观点而骂我的人更多吗?

P45:By this she meant that at Ebenezer she could never take the place of her mother.
误:在埃比尼泽教堂她永远也不想取代她母亲的位置。
正:换句话说她认为自己永远不能在以便以谢教会取代她的母亲。
分析:“不能”与“不想”不应混淆。

P48:Few people seemed to resent his manner, partly because it was common to ministers and mostly because he produced.
误:很少有人讨厌他的性情,一部分原因是处于认为认为这性情是牧师普遍有的,而大部分原因则是由于这正是他个人表现出来的。
正:金的言论看似自吹自擂,可是厌恶这套说辞的人却非常有限。部分原因在于当时的黑人教士大都是这个路数,但更主要的原因在于金的每一句炫耀都有实绩支撑。
分析:误译对于produce的理解不够深。

P49:There he visited biblical sites in Jerusalem, Bethlehem, and elsewhere……
误:在那里他游览了《圣经》中提到的耶路撒冷的一些著名地点,比如耶稣诞生地伯利恒……
正:在这里他寻访了耶路撒冷、伯利恒以及其他多处圣经故址……
分析:耶路撒冷与伯利恒是两个相互独立的城市,不是上下级关系。

P51:……when greeted by white people at the Chicago Opera, (he)often gave a pathetic mumbo-jumbo reply in the hope that he would be taken for an African diplomat instead of an American.
误:在芝加哥歌剧院白人迎接他的时候,他要说出感伤又莫名其妙的话,以传达一种期望:他希望人们把他当成美国外交官,而不是非洲外交官。
正:每当他去芝加哥歌剧院看戏的时候遇到白人观众向他打招呼,他总会含糊其辞地混过去,希望对方将自己当成来自非洲某国的外交官而不是美国人。
分析:误译的理解能力实在不敢恭维。此外In the hope that 指的是自己希望而不是向别人传达希望。

P53:Reverend King supplied the wish and the preparation, but it remained for strangers in the world at large to impose Martin Luther King’s new name upon him.
误:金牧师表明了心愿,给儿子时间去准备,让全世界的陌生人认可马丁.路德.金这个名字名副其实。
正:老金牧师希望儿子能接受这个新名字,也做了很多铺垫,但最终还是众多陌生人将马丁.路德.金这个名字强加在了他儿子的头上。

P55: As a political leader, however, he suffered all the liabilities of an elitist intellectual.
误:作为一名政治领袖,他却承担着优秀知识分子应承担的责任。
正:然而作为一名政治领袖,他却背负着精英主义知识分子的一切缺点。
分析:韦氏词典对于liability的定义是one that acts as a disadvantage。

P55:he made matters worse by commenting that White had no brains
误:他还评论说白人缺乏头脑,让事态更加严重。
正:更糟的是他还公开声称怀特没长脑子。
分析:这个错误是审阅人员的失职。

P56:The first contribution out of Wilkins’ own typewriter was a sports story about Negro track stars, which, Wilkins dryly recalled, the beleaguered Du Bois allowed to run “tucked among the most august literary and sociological thinkers of the race.”
误:……威尔金斯淡淡地回忆着,杜波依斯决定让他“在种族里最令人敬畏的文学思想家和社会思想家中雪藏”。
正:后来他不露声色地回忆道,在他的软磨硬泡之下,杜博斯最终不得不同意将这篇稿件“塞在最威严的黑人文学家与社会思想家的文字之间”。
分析:tuck的宾语是 a sports story about Negro track stars而不是Wilkins

P58:Spurning all talk of appearances and strategies, he marshaled the raw prose for which he was famous.
误:他写了很多让他出名却有些不成熟的散文。
正:他抛弃了一切关于种族形象与斗争策略的辞令,亮出了自己赖以成名的凶猛笔锋。
分析:误译不仅不理解从句结构,也不理解raw的用法。

P59:The success of this traditional NAACP activity was marred, however, by the small numbers and by factionalism among the leadership.
误:这次全国有色人种协进会成功地被领导阶级的党派之争和一小部分人抹杀了。
正:这是协进会的惯常活动,但是这次活动的成功却并不算完美,首先是参与人数太少,其次活动领导层也陷入了分裂。
分析:mar做动词意为玷污而非毁灭。

P60:Remarkably, the expansion at Ebenezer accelerated until the church caught and passed its older and more established rival on Auburn Avenue, Wheat Street Baptist, where the building program for a new church stalled and then collapsed in mid-construction.
误:……那座教堂新建筑……才完成了一半就拆掉了。
正:……这家教会的新教堂修建计划先是拖延了很久,然后在施工期间又垮塌了。
分析:原文是collapse,不是dismantle。

P63:The Rockefeller associate wanted to oust the dictatorial Florence Read, saying that she was anything but a professional educator and had been only a Rockefeller secretary.
误:……她各方面都不错,但不是一位职业教育家……
正:……她根本不是专业教育家……

P67:…… where it had become traditional to say that there were only two kinds of students: those at Morehouse and those who wished they were.
误:……一种由来已久的说法是,关于莫尔豪斯学院只两种学生……
正:……按照摩豪斯的说法,一切学生分为两类……
分析:还是校对的责任。

P68:He abhorred religious tastes--especially the happy chatter about heaven and the cross--and looked upon religious ideas as a point of departure.
误:他痛恨宗教的优点……
正:他憎恶宗教品味……
分析:低级错误。

P70:The Soviet Union and the United States began to split the globe into two warring camps, each claiming to represent idealism against an empire of evil ambitions. Colonized peoples in Asia and Africa denounced the hypocrisy of the democratic nations that doggedly reasserted sovereignty over them.
误:苏联与美国逐渐将全球分化成两个阵营双方都声称自己坚持的主义能消灭邪恶帝国的野心。亚洲殖民地和非洲殖民地的人民前者民主国家的虚伪,坚定不移地维护自己的主权。
正:苏联和美国开始将全球分割成两大敌对阵营,双方都声称自己是理想主义的代表,对方是怀有邪恶野心的帝国。众多奉行民主制度的国家顽固地重申着自己对于亚洲与非洲殖民地的主权,此等虚伪行径理所当然地遭到了殖民地人民的激烈谴责。

P71:……they and the FBI would compile enough evidence to take before a grand jury, which declined to return an indictment.
误:联邦调查局还是搜集到了足够的证据,提交给了拒绝撤销起诉书的大陪审团。
正:他们和联邦调查局的探员们确实收集到了足够的证据并且将其提交到了大陪审团面前,但是大审判团拒绝起诉。
分析:不知撤销二字从何而来。

P74:Properly conceived, he argued, education provides “noble ends rather than a means to an end”.
误:金认为,如方法得当,教育提供的是“高贵的目的,绝不是置人于死地的手段”。
正:在他看来,构想得当的教育本身就应当是“崇高的目的而不是实现目的的手段”。
分析:看到end就想到死也是耿直。
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发表于 2017-6-6 20:44 | 显示全部楼层
继续学习,勘误得真好。
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 楼主| 发表于 2017-7-19 15:29 | 显示全部楼层
第三章:

P77:Students in practice preaching class would occasionally hear the heathen clatter of a new rack being broken below.
误:学生上传教课时,偶尔能听到下面打破新架子时野蛮的声音。
正:学生们在礼拜堂里练习布道技巧的时候偶尔还能听到脚下传来一阵噼里啪啦的声音,想来是有人把刚摆好的一框台球打散了。

P79:Against these trends, Crozer failed to compete successfully for students.
误:在反对这些趋势上,克劳泽神学院未能为学生争取到胜利。
正:面对这样的趋势,克罗兹神学院在争夺生源的时候经常落在下风。

P80:Pritchard’s conclusion, which he shared with four or five of the other leading Western scholars in the field, was that Moses was an uncorroborated historical figure, quite possibly a legendary one, and that the Exodus itself was probably a much smaller and more symbolic event than the one described in the Bible.
误:由此普理查德认为摩西是未经证实的历史人物,很可能是传说中的人物,而走出埃及本身可能是比圣经中描述的更小但更具代表性的事,他还将自己的观点告诉了这一领域中四五位著名的西方学者。
正:普里查德由此得出结论——当时只有四五个业界领先的西方学者认同这一观点——摩西是一位没有史料支持的人物,很可能是传说中的角色。与圣经记述的出埃及记相比,真实的历史事件很可能规模远远更小并且只具有象征意义。

P80:The standing joke among the Crozer students who survived these courses was that...
误:克劳泽神学院中通过了上述两个科目的学生都把这两门课当作笑柄,
正:挺过这些课程的克罗兹学生经常开玩笑说……

P84:In class, Keighton remarked that he wished he knew his Bible as well as he knew Shakespeare,
误:凯顿在课堂上说自己有多了解《圣经》,就有多了解莎士比亚的作品。
正:在课堂上他曾经声称自己真心希望能像熟谙莎士比亚那样掌握圣经内容。

P85:the deepest theologian in the Baptist Church
误:浸信会教堂最深处的神学家
正:最深刻的浸信会神学家

P87:...he pointed out to his father that it was not the smoke-filled poolroom itself that was sinful but rather the plan sometimes hatched there to rob the liquor store...
误:金对父亲说这不是烟雾缭绕充满罪恶的桌球室,只不过会有些打家劫舍的计划。
正:他向父亲指出,烟雾缭绕的台球厅本身并非罪孽所在,有时在台球厅里制定的抢劫酒水商店的计划才当真有罪。

P87:King read The Communist Manifesto and some interpretations of Marx and Lenin before framing an objection to communism that would serve him the rest of his life.
误:金读了《共产党宣言》及对马克思和列宁著作的解读后才开始计划反对共产主义,可正是共产主义让他余生不懈奋斗。
正:金读完了《共产主义宣言》以及一批涉及马克思与列宁思想的阐述作品,之后就抱定了终其一生的反对共产主义立场。
分析:如果不敢如实翻译,不妨把这句话删掉。

P89:...he never again fell so completely under the spell of any school of thought, including Niebuhr’s.
误:他从未对某种思想学派如此着迷,就算对尼布尔的也没有。
正:从此以后金再也没有彻头彻尾地陷入任何一个思想学派的掌控,包括尼布尔的思想在内。

P90:Horrified Social Gospel reviewers implied that Niebuhr’s emphasis on sin made him a traitor to progress, or even a fundamentalist.
误:惊恐的社会福音运动评论者们暗示尼布尔对罪恶的强调说明他背叛了进步,甚至不配当原教旨主义者。
正:社会福音派的评论家们同样吓得不知所措,他们暗示尼布尔对罪孽的强调使他沦为了社会进步的叛徒,甚至跌落进了原教旨主义者的行列。

P90:That same emphasis might have endeared him to religious conservatives.
误:同样的强调也让尼布尔受到宗教保守主义者的喜爱
正:宗教保守派倒是很可能因为这一点对他另眼相看
分析:误译没看见might have

P98:King himself shared this propensity to vagueness on the crucial questions, but, in much the same way that a doubting preacher fell back from the afterlife to morality, he embraced Personalism’s teaching that there was rich, empirical meaning in religious experience.
误:金分享了自己在一些重大问题上模糊化的倾向,但用同样的模糊方式,这位有疑心的传教士从来世退回到了道德上……
正:面对这些关键问题,金本人的态度往往也倾向于含糊不清,但是他的信仰并未因此而动摇。心存疑惑的布道人经常会放弃来生阵地,退守到道德阵地上,金也采取了这样的策略。

P100:but he did most of his work with sympathetic non-activists like DeWolf.
误:但金和德沃尔夫一样,大部分工作都是和富有同情心的非行动派一起进行的。
正:但他选修的大部分课程还是由德沃尔夫这样同情种族平等事业的非活动家传授。

P101:He had been uneasy since the previous summer of 1951, when the romance with Juanita Sellers inexplicably had failed to mature.
误:自1951年夏天,金与胡安妮塔.塞勒斯之间莫名地未能开花之后,金就一直深感不安。
正:自从上一年也就是1951年的夏天以来,老金牧师一直焦虑不安,因为儿子与胡安妮塔.塞勒斯的恋情莫名其妙地没能开花结果。

P108:Years ahead of her time, she wanted the promise to obey her husband removed from the wedding vows as inequitable
误:斯科特结婚前几年就像从结婚誓言中删掉只遵从丈夫的承诺,因为她觉得不公平。
正:此外她还做出了一项远远超前于时代的举动……从婚礼誓词当中删除了“我将服从丈夫”这句话,因为她认为单方面的服从对自己很不公平。
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发表于 2017-7-19 16:25 | 显示全部楼层
居然还有下文233
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 楼主| 发表于 2017-7-19 16:26 | 显示全部楼层

不做到最后一章算我对不起中青出版社

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参与人数 1战斗力 +1 收起 理由
yogomove + 1 同行的敬佩w

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 楼主| 发表于 2017-8-10 10:38 | 显示全部楼层
第四章:

P120:she forced him to invoke what he called his authority as head of the household
误:但柯瑞塔还是请求金放弃他所谓的一家之主的权威
正:但是最后他依然不得不抬出自己身为一家之主的权威来。
分析:误译大概把invoke误认为是revoke了。

P121:The first news films of a hydrogen bomb test showed shirtless American engineers smoking pipes and wearing pith helmets as they adjusted the rigging for a blast far out in the Pacific Ocean.
误:……正在遥远的太平洋上调试索具。
正:……正在忙碌装配着各种器材设施,为得是远在太平洋的氢弹爆炸能够顺利进行。
分析:对于rigging的翻译过于生硬,脱离了上下文。

P121:Sherman Adams, Eisenhower’s chief of staff, was preoccupied with political images, wanting to make sure that the Democrats could not blame Republicans for the decision by pointing to Ike’s appointment of Warren.
误:……希望在委任沃伦这件事上,民主党人不会责怪自由党人。
正:……他想要确保民主党不能因为艾森豪威尔任命沃伦担任大法官而责怪共和党。
分析:低级错误。

P123:From there, he proclaimed himself on the single theme of authority in a ringing preface worthy of Moses, Augustine, or Luther.
误:……他响亮明白的前言配得上摩西、圣奥古斯丁和他自己。
正:……行文气势足以令摩西、奥古斯汀或者路德击节赞叹。
分析:低级错误。

P124:Most probably, he could have gotten the congregation to adopt it as a resolution,
误:很可能的情况是,金能让会众把这当作一种决心。
正:最可能的结果是他会凭借着新官上任三把火的气势迫使会众将这段文字当成教会决议加以通过,
分析:对于resolution的理解有误。

P128:Though still a boy to many of his older listeners, he had the commanding air of a burning sage.
误:从小男孩到年纪大的听众,金都有一种圣人的气度。
正:尽管与许多年长的信众相比他还是个毛头小子,但是他的气场却像言出法随的智者一样熊熊燃烧。

P129:Prosecutors had thrown the book at Colvin
误:检察官丢给科尔文一本书
正:公诉人则决定施展全部手段来对付科尔文
分析:throw a book at sb 是固定搭配。

P130:he was the first Negro since Reconstruction to put himself on the ballot for local office
误:他……还成了自重建时期以来,第一个为当地政府选举投票的黑人
正:他也是战后重建以来第一位参与政府公职选举的黑人

P136:As they became better acquainted, Graetz decided that King’s own experience as a Negro student among whites in the North gave him a feel for life at Trinity Lutheran.
误:他们逐渐熟悉之后,格雷茨认为金作为黑人学生在北方白人众多的地方上学的经历让在三一路德教堂的他看到了希望。
正:进一步加深相互了解之后,格雷茨觉得金之所以如此体谅自己在圣三一教会里的处境,正是因为当年他曾经作为一名黑人学生来到北方白人圈子里求学,品尝过身为种族异类的滋味。

P137:The timing of the sudden announcement made it look suspiciously like one of the senior King’s attention-getting maneuvers.
误:突然宣布这件事看上去仿佛是为吸引父亲的注意力而使出的花招。
正:如此突如其来的宣布这么重大的决定,看上去实在像极了老金牧师惯用的抓人眼球手段。

P146:“We’ve worn aprons all our lives,” he said. “It’s time to take the aprons off. If we’re gonna be mens, now it’s the time to be mens.”
误:“我们一直都穿着长袍,”他说,“是时候脱下来了……”
正:“我们已经扎了一辈子围嘴了,”他说,“现在是时候把围嘴解下来了……”
分析:根据上下文,围嘴显然比长袍更合适。


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 楼主| 发表于 2017-8-10 10:39 | 显示全部楼层
第五章:

P152:Such joyous abandon was almost as alarming to the teacher as the violence he had feared,
误:这种快乐的放纵是他一直忧虑的暴烈言行。
正:如此肆无忌惮的欢乐令这位老师心慌意乱,几乎就好比劳森做出了他十分恐惧的暴力行径一样。
分析:joyous abandon并不是violence he had feared当中的一类。

P153:One feels that history is being made in Montgomery these days, the most important in her career.
误:有人感觉这些天的蒙哥马利正在创造历史,那是她职业生涯最重要的时刻。
正:人们难免觉得这几天的蒙哥马利正在创造历史,如今正是蒙哥马利建市以来最重要的一段时光。
分析:《韦氏词典》表示career有course, passage之意,例句the sun's career across the sky。城市肯定不会有职业生涯。

P153:The very moderation of the demands led civil rights groups such as the national NAACP to frown upon the boycott as a wildcat movement for something less than integration.
误:……他们把这个运动视为一种野猫运动……
正:……他们认为这场抵制运动想一出是一出……
分析:必应词典表示wildcat做形容词意为(罢工)未经工会同意的;(计划不周密而)不稳妥的;不按正常标准的,例句a wildcat strike happens suddenly and without the official support of a trade/labor union


P154:As for the boycotters themselves……faced ……complicated relays in getting from home to job without being late or getting fired or getting into an argument with the employer
误:他们不得不应付……复杂的倒班工作……
正:他们不得不借助于复杂的接力式通勤方式……
分析:omplicated relays 发生在居所与工作地点之间(getting from home to job),因此不会是倒班的意思。

P154:King immediately called his college friend T. J. Jemison, who, as secretary of the National Baptist Convention,was a prince of the national church on a much higher level than the Kings.
误:……他是国家浸信会联会的一位领导,地位比金高得多。
正:……他是全国浸信会大会当中的一位秘书,也是全国教会当中的重量级人物,地位比金家父子高得多。
分析:Kings显然指的不仅只是小金一人。

P155:Knowing such things, King was stunned once again when the crowd greeted his proposal with a church-rocking roar of approval. Whatever it took, they would do it.
误:虽然明白这些事情,但当信众一致应和他的建议时金还是被兴奋冲昏了头脑。他决定不去顾虑那些问题,而且相信人们会按照他的建议去行动。
正:道理全都清楚的金万万没想到,自己的提议居然再一次得到了集会人群的一致应和,人们的欢呼声震撼得教堂都瑟瑟发抖。抵制运动需要他们干什么,他们就愿意干什么。
分析:误译错误理解了stunned一词,因此完全搞反了金的心态。

P154:At the first negotiating session, on December 8, the three co-equal city commissioners parried King's arguments before a large crowd of reporters, boycotters, and white spectators.
误:……3位回避与金的辩论。
正:……蒙哥马利市政府派出了三位地位平等的谈判专员……
分析:如此明显的漏译想必是编校审读长达一年之久的数位资深专家的失职。我很感兴趣这些专家到底姓甚名谁。

P154:Commissioner W. A. "Tacky' Gayle (who was designated mayor because he supervised the employees at city hall) ……
误:……(由于要监督政府员工,他被指定为市长)……
正:……(他的工作是监督市政府全体员工,因此被指定为市长的代言人)……

P156:Rev. Henry Parker of the First Baptist Church, out of which Abernathy's church had been born eighty-eight years earlier,
误:第一浸信会教堂的牧师亨利.帕克试图弥合实质性的分歧(这个教堂与88 年前诞生的阿伯纳斯曾经任职过的教堂同名)。
正:第一浸信会教会的亨利.帕克牧师(阿博纳西眼下任职的教会正是在八十八年前脱胎于这家教会)试图弥合双方之间的实质性分歧

P159:A sharp decline in Christmas purchases by Negroes caused Montgomery store owners to wince, but they were not greatly alarmed.
误:由于黑人拒绝购买圣诞礼物,导致了圣诞销售额的急剧下降,这让蒙哥马利的商店业主皱起了眉头……
正:黑人圣诞购物数额的急剧下降使得蒙哥马利的商店业主皱起了眉头……

P158:The whites had spoken as the diplomats of a large country might defend their interests to diplomats from a small one.
误:白人曾谈到大国的外交官也可能要为捍卫本国的利益而防备小国。
正:这些白人的谈判态度就好像大国外交官正在小国外交官面前捍卫本国利益一样。

P158:They were walking in pride and dignity, he declared, with a gait that would "do justice to any queen.'
误:她们是那么骄傲和高贵,她们为公平正义而行走,她们终将和女王平起平坐。
正:他声称她们的气质如此骄傲而又高贵,她们的步态“足以与任何一位女王相提并论”。

P159:in which Arkansas council members were cooperating
误:阿肯色州议会成员将共同合作
正:阿肯色州的理事会成员正在通力协作
分析:这里的council显然指的是白人公民理事会

P161:……when daring counterstrokes made Southern legends of Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson.
误:……当时北方联盟的勇敢反击造就了南方的传奇人物罗伯特.E.李和“石墙”杰克逊。
正:……罗伯特.E.李和“石墙”杰克逊当时正是通过一系列大胆的反击作战成为了南方的传奇人物。
分析:不做功课的翻译就会犯这种错误。

P161:In January, concluding reluctantly that the boycott had endured long enough to require special journalistic attention.
误:1月份,报纸上连篇累牍报道抵制运动已经够长时间了,如果没有什么特别值得关注的新闻就要结束报道……
正:1月份,霍尔很不情愿地得出结论,抵制运动已经坚持了足够长久的时间,需要新闻行业进行特别关注……
分析:误译不清楚enough to组合前后的逻辑关系。

P162:He recalled, for instance,
误:格雷茨后来举例回忆说,
正:比方说格雷茨回忆道,

P162:"Naturally, I just beamed,' Graetz told Johnson, "because that really fit me.'
误:“当然,我只是桥梁,”格雷茨告诉约翰逊,“但它适合我。”
正:“这番话听得我喜上眉梢,”格雷茨告诉约翰逊,“因为这样的评价确实很适合我。”
分析:不清楚beam是怎么翻译成“桥梁”的。

P163:This candor supported what Montgomery whites had been saying all along--that the radical Negro leaders were not really for segregation, that they were lying.  
误:他们认为激进黑人领袖们并不真是为了应对隔离问题,他们在撒谎。
正:激进黑人领袖们并不支持种族隔离,他们的对外宣传完全是谎言。

P163:For the editor's benefit, he read notes of King's quotations on Tillich and Kant,
误:得益于编辑的便利,他阅读了本子上记录的金在《论蒂利希和康德》一文中的摘句
正:他当着编辑的面阅读了金对于田立克、康德乃至于尼采的引述。
分析:for one’s benefit有“特意为某人做某事”之意

P163:And while hostile readers could draw from it inferences that King was uppity and devious, as Johnson himself believed, the tone of the article was generally neutral.
误:尽管充满敌意的读者可能从中得出推论,认定金是一个自命不凡而狡猾的人,但约翰逊本人相信,文章的语气基本上是中性的。
正:尽管充满敌意的读者可能通过这篇文章得出推论,认定金是一位傲慢自负且满腹机关之辈——约翰逊本人也这么认为——但是文章的语气基本上是中性的。

P164:That same week, Police Commissioner Sellers told the Jaycees that the boycott was continuing only because white citizens were "sitting by.'
误:就在同一周,警务专员塞勒斯告诉杰西斯……
正:警务专员塞勒斯告诉美国青年商会……

P164:Some of the white women who needed the services of their maids badly enough to drive them to and from Rufus Lewis' car-pool pickup spots seized upon the commissioner's story, saying that they transported the maids only to protect them from the goon squads--not, of course, to support the boycott.
误:一些急需女佣的白人妇女忍无可忍,直接开着私家车来到鲁弗斯.路易斯的拼车载客点接送女佣。城市专员抓住这件事做文章说,她们的接送行为只是为了保护女佣,使之免受打手队的恐吓,绝不是支持抵制运动。
正:一些急需女佣的白人妇女忍无可忍,直接开着私家车来到鲁弗斯.路易斯的拼车载客点接送女佣。为了给自己的行为找个台阶,她们拿着市政专员散布的反抵制运动宣传做起了文章:她们的接送行为绝不是对于抵制运动的支持,只是为了保护女佣免受打手队的恐吓。
分析:误译主语不清

P166:Fortified by such hope, King placed calls to the MIA leadership.
误:经过这样的分析,找到嫌疑人的希望大大增加。金挨个儿给MIA的领导人打电话。
正:怀抱着这样的希望,金打电话通知了蒙改联的整个领导层。
分析:Fortified并非修饰hope

P166:No one rallied to the settlement as inevitable. They all denounced it.
误:他们都认为和解是不可能的,并且都反对和解
正:没有人主张和解不可避免,所有人都声称反对和解。

P167:This was Saturday night. By virtue of Rowan's warning, they had a chance to catch large numbers of their fellow citizens at the only traditional Negro meeting places other than the churches.
误:这是周六的晚上,罗文警告,黑人的传统聚会场所除了教堂外还有这些地方,金他们能在这里找到大量的同胞。
正:罗文的警告带来了翻盘的契机:除了教堂以外,路边夜店也是黑人的传统聚会场所。金他们能在这里找到大量同胞。

P167:King and his coterie of prim preachers must have made quite a sight as they shouldered their way into the flesh and the noise,
误:当金和那几个古板拘谨的传教士挤进这些声色犬马的地方时,他们不得不尽力把所有人的视线吸引到自己身上来。
正:当金带领着几名古板拘谨的布道人挤进这些声色犬马的场所时总会一下子就吸引住所有人的视线。

P167:The bus company manager announced tersely that there was "no noticeable increase on the Negro routes.'
误:公交公司经理的声明很简洁:“没有增加黑人线路。”
正:公交公司经理的声明很简洁:“黑人线路乘客数量没有增加。”

P167:Mayor Gayle immediately issued what Joe Azbell, on the next day's front page, called a "dynamic statement.'
误:市长盖尔立即发表声明,由《广告报》的编辑乔.阿兹贝尔在第二天的头版做了报道,后者将其冠以“变来变去的声明”
正:盖尔立即发表了声明。《广告报》编辑乔.阿兹贝尔在第二天头版上评价道,这篇声明写得“活力十足”。

P167:The Negroes believed they had "the white people hemmed up in a corner,' said the mayor,
误:市长又说,黑人认为他们一直“被白人围困在角落里”
正:以至于黑人还以为他们“已经将白人逼进了死角”

P169:The city would almost certainly deny Lewis' application for a franchise, however, lest it be accused of donating the economic benefits of segregation to the Negroes.
误:然而,市政府几乎可以肯定会驳回路易斯对特许经营权的申请,因为只有这样才能避免隔离主义者的指责,认为他们把公交运营的经济效益分赠给黑人。
正:当然,市政府几乎一定会驳回刘易斯的特许经营权申请,否则的话必然会有人指责市政府不该将种族隔离带来的经济效益分赠给黑人。
分析:分不清主语宾语似乎是166-169页译者的顽疾。

P172:after finally accepting the fact that it was too complicated and too late in the evening to get King out on a property bond,
误:但那天晚上,阿伯纳斯不得不接受这样一个事实,这件事太复杂,而且,也来不及当晚就拿出足够的保释金。
正:但是最终他不得不接受事实:这件事太复杂,轻易解决不了,而且当天已经太晚,就算缴纳保释金也不能放人了。
分析:没有搞清楚too late in the evening修饰什么

P172:Leaving, he passed carloads of Dexter members and MIA supporters who were converging on the jail.
误:他离开时,经过关满德克斯特会员和抵制运动支持者的监牢
正:走出监狱之后他看到一车一车的德克斯特会众与蒙改联支持者已经围堵了监狱大门。
分析:误译搞错了 converging on the jail的意思。Converge为汇聚之意。

P172:He held himself in check even when he began to realize that now it was the jailer, not he, who was frightened--a large crowd of Negroes had practically surrounded the building.
误:当一大群黑人几乎包围监狱时,他控制住了自己,因为他意识到,这时候感到害怕的不再是他而是狱卒。
正:即便当他意识到看守比他更害怕的时候——因为四面八方赶来的黑人已经包围了监狱——他也依旧没有流露出多少情绪。
分析:误译搞错了逻辑关系。

P172:It was some time later, at that night's mass meeting, before Abernathy caught up with the switches and reversals that rendered his cash unnecessary.
误:后来,到晚上的群众集会时,阿伯纳斯才知道这次事件的变化和逆转,于是退还了已经不再需要的担保现金
正:当天再晚些时候,阿博纳西在一场弥撒大会上得知了事态的逆转。他辛苦筹集的现金这一回可是用不着了。
分析:原文没有提到退还现金的做法。

P173:The phone rang again. "Listen, nigger,' said the caller, "we'vee taken all we want from you. Before next week you'll be sorry you ever came to Montgomery.' King hung up on the angry voice.
误:金怒吼着挂断了电话。
正:对面怒火满腔的声音还没有住口,金就把电话挂上了。
分析:误译不理解Hang up on的用法。

P173:Some of the Negro callers were just curious about his arrest, while others wanted to complain about the car pool. He never knew what to expect.
误:……他对打来的电话从来没有指望过什么。
正:……他从来都猜不到下一个电话的内容会是什么。

P173:The sensations of the incoming images pressed in upon him--the hatred of the whites, the burdened, offended rectitude of the middle-class Negroes, the raw courage or neediness of the plain folk.
误:电话传递过来的画面变成种种压力集中在他身上——对白人的仇恨,过重的负担,得罪了正直的中产阶级黑人,有勇无谋或穷困潦倒的普通百姓。
正:每一通电话都伴随着一幅意象,每一幅意象都在向他步步紧逼——白人的仇恨与憎恶,中产阶级黑人在重压之下的耿介态度,以及普通百姓的淳朴勇气或者穷困潦倒。
分析:the hatred of the whites是白人的仇恨而不是仇恨白人。offended在原文做形容词修饰rectitude,至多只能翻译成“遭到得罪的正直”
   
P175:For reasons of tactical consistency, they resolved to tell both the city fathers and their own followers that the boycott would continue as a separate matter.
误:为了保证战术的一致性,他们决定通知城市里所有的牧师和他们的教友,抵制运动和发起诉讼各自独立运作。
正:为了保证战术步伐一致,他们决定通知蒙哥马利的白人当权者以及他们自己的追随者,抵制运动将会独立于联邦诉讼继续进行。
分析:这应该是误译第二次搞错city father的用法。


P176:"We are checking on that now,' said a miserable Abernathy, who had wanted to have the answer before telling King.
误:“我们正在核实。”阿博纳西痛苦地回答道,他本来想在金开口之前就能得到答案的。
正:“我们正在核实。”阿博纳西痛苦地回答道,他本来想在告诉金之间就得到答案的。

P177:Bombers were loose,
误:扔炸弹的人是无组织的
正:扔炸弹的行凶者尚未归案

P179:She was deeply moved to hear that King, with all his strength, needed her.
误:金尽力让妻子知道自己有多么需要她,柯瑞塔被深深地打动了。
正:尽管他并不缺乏力量,但是依然需要她的扶持。这番话深深地打动了柯瑞塔。

P179:February dawned cold and dangerous.
误:2月寒冷的黎明危机四伏
正:二月份不仅天气寒冷,而且危机四伏。
分析:dawn在此做动词,取降临、到来之意

P179:Jeanatta Reese, who worked as a maid for one of the mayor's relatives, broke down under the pressure as visitors of both races trampled a path to her door, urging her to stick to the contrary assurances she had given them.
误:吉纳塔.里斯在市长的一个亲戚家当女佣,此前,两个种族主义者径直找上门来,强迫她做出并遵守违心承诺,在这样的压力下,她崩溃了。
正:这位女性名叫吉纳塔.里斯(Jeanatta Reese),原本在市长亲戚家帮佣。此前黑白双方的访客都踏破了她家的门槛,强迫她做出了许多相互矛盾的承诺。如此巨大的压力致使她陷入了崩溃。

P180:Three days later, white students rioted at the University of Alabama against the court-ordered admission of the first Negro student in the school's history.
误:三天后,白人学生在亚拉巴马大学发动暴乱,在学校执行法令的命令,允许历史上的第一名黑人学生入学。
正:三天后白人学生在阿拉巴马大学发动了暴乱,因为法院下令大学接纳建校以来的第一名黑人学生奥瑟琳.露西(Autherine Lucy)入学。
分析:误译完全不通。

P181:He opened up two-way traffic with movement tacticians of the outside world, bringing with him experiences and influences far beyond the confines of the Negro church spirit that had sustained the boycott thus far.
误:他与外地的运动家开辟了“双车道交通”,这个为他带来经验的行动,其影响力远远超越了黑人教会精神的局限,而后者真正是抵制运动持续至今的精神支撑。
正:他在抵制运动战术家与外部世界之间开辟了一条双向车道。至今一直在支撑抵制运动的黑人教会精神自有其局限,拉斯廷则为抵制运动带来了远远超越局限之外的经验与影响力。
分析:bringing with him experiences and influences是“某人带来了经验与影响力”而不是“给某人带来经验”。

P181:Unlike its grimy sister city of Chester, site of Crozer Seminary, the town had all the advantages of enlightened wealth. It was the home of an influential Quaker meeting, to which the Rustins belonged, and of experiments in progressive, integrated education.
误:不像脏兮兮的姐妹城市切斯特(克劳泽神学院所在地),西切斯特市拥有开明富裕城市的所有优点。拉斯廷家的房子还是一个有一定影响力的贵格会的礼拜会地点。拉斯廷就是在那里接受了完整而进步的教育实验。
正:与脏兮兮的姐妹城市切斯特(也就是克罗兹神学院的所在地)不同,西切斯特具有开明富裕城市的所有优点。这座城市是一家颇有影响力的贵格会集会的所在地,拉斯廷一家都是该集会的成员。此外这里还进行了许多种族融合教育进步实验。
分析:误译当中之所以出现“拉斯廷家的房子”,恐怕是看到了“home……to which the Rustins belonged”。但是这句话里的It只能指代上一句话里的the town。

P182:Since his birth, all the family members had created the fiction that an illegitimate grandson was a legitimate son.
误:自从他出生以后,所有的家庭成员一起创作了一部小说,一部关于非法的孙子是合法的儿子的小说。
正:自从他出生以后,所有的家庭成员就共同维持了一副假相,将非婚生的外孙打扮成了婚生的儿子。
分析:误译对于fiction一词的理解只能用生吞活剥来形容。

P182:When the Depression and family poverty forced him out of college……
误:大学时,拉斯廷因为抑郁症和家庭经济困难,不得不中途退学
正:大萧条致使拉斯廷一家陷入了贫困,他本人也不得不离开了大学
分析:Depression首字母大写即作为专门历史术语使用。

P182:Faithful to the spirit of the International, Rustin learned an amazing assortment of workers' songs, English madrigals, and folk classics.
误:忠于国际劳工联盟的拉斯廷学到了一种惊人的歌种。这种歌混合了工人歌曲、英语牧歌与民歌
正:忠于共产国际精神的拉斯廷在这一时期学会了数量惊人的多种歌曲,包括工人歌曲、英格兰牧歌与经典民谣。
分析:韦氏词典当中assortment 的定义是 a collection of assorted things or persons,因此译文应为“多种”而不是“一种”。

P183:FOR leaders, recognizing that pacifist recruitment was going nowhere so long as Hitler was making war, decided to emphasize the anti-colonial aspects of Gandhian nonviolence.
误:……于是他们决定强调反殖民运动中甘地的非暴力主义。
正:……于是他们决定强调甘地非暴力主义的反殖民侧面。

P183:by example the hard-drinking, cigar-smoking, woman-chasing Shridharani taught the wide-eyed young Americans that Gandhian politics did not require a life of dull asceticism
误:奚里哈兰尼让大眼睛的年轻美国人知道,甘地主义政治并不要求过沉闷禁欲的生活,他们无须避忌喝醉酒、抽雪茄、追女人这类行为。
正:此外奚里哈兰尼并不忌讳喝酒抽雪茄,而且还是个情场老手。他以身作则地表明了甘地主义政治并不等同于沉闷禁欲的生活方式。这套做派让两位美国年轻人看得眼珠子都要掉出来了。
分析:wide-eyed直接翻译成大眼睛未免不知所云。

P184:White opponents met the challenge with beatings, and Rustin was among those convicted under local segregation laws.
误:怀有敌意的白人用殴打来应对黑人的挑战,然而,拉斯廷他们却因违反当地种族隔离法而被定罪。
正:怀有敌意的白人用殴打来应对黑人的挑战,并且给很多自由乘车运动参与者都扣上了违反当地种族隔离法的罪名,拉斯廷也位列其中。
分析:原文上下句是承接关系而不是转折关系。

P186:That night they took a unanimous recommendation to a huge mass meeting at St. John's A.M.E. Church. Of four thousand people in attendance, only two voted to end the boycott on the city's terms.
误:那天晚上他们一致决议,要在圣约翰AME教堂举行一场大型群众集会,这个将有4000人参加的集会的任务是对政府给出的结束抵制的条件进行投票,票面只有接受和不接受两个选项。
正:那天晚上他们在圣约翰非裔卫理圣公会教堂举行的一场大规模弥撒大会上给出了执行委员会的一致意见。这次弥撒大会共有四千余人参加,其中只有两个人投票表示应当按照市政府的条件结束抵制。
分析:不理解怎么犯出来的低级错误。

P186:The next morning, Abernathy formally notified the city of the MIA's decision by telegram.
误:第二天早上,阿伯纳斯将执行委员会的决定用电报正式通知全市的MIA。
正:第二天早上,阿博纳西通过电报向市政府通报了蒙改联的决定。
分析:notify直接跟宾语,of后面跟状语。

P187:Volunteer guards stood outside even though, as Rustin had learned to his disappointment, King and his family were out of town.
误:虽然志愿者站在屋外守着,但金和他的家人在城外,而拉斯廷早就学会了接受自己的失望。
正:尽管拉斯廷十分失望地得知金家人全都不在蒙哥马利,但是住宅外面依然站着很多负责警戒的志愿者。

P187:The dollar amount of this ambition had been for some time the centerpiece of Daddy King's self-description in church programs, and it would remain so until he did something even bigger.
误:一段时间以来,作为老金本人描述的教堂计划的核心部分,他一直在做工作,而且,在老金的心目中,这个很有野心的数额只能多不能少。
正:一段时间以来,每当金老爹描述教会发展规划的时候,总会将这个雄心勃勃的贷款金额当成规划核心。直到日后他取得更大的成就之前,这笔贷款的意义都将无可替代。
分析:误译当中的“只能多不能少”大概对应原文的something even bigger,但是something even bigger是he did的宾语,并不是贷款金额。

P188:M.L. could hear for himself what they had to say.
误:为了他自己,金也许会愿意听他们的话。
正:金可以亲耳听听他们有什么话想说。

P188:Daddy King repeated his speech for their benefit.
误:金的父亲重申了关于他们的利益的讲话。
正:金老爹向各位客人重复了一遍回家路上的发言。

P189:the news flashed that he had actually traded jokes with the deputy who arrested him.
误:新闻快讯说,实际上他已经让执行逮捕的警官成了大家的笑柄
正:按照新闻快讯的说法,这位老人还有说有笑地与逮捕他的警察相互调侃了几句。

P189:Some of the arriving smiles were forced, but the ones on leaving jail were always genuine.
误:一些带着微笑来的人是被迫的,但在离开监狱的时候又总是真诚的。
正:前来自首时不少人脸上的微笑都是硬挤出来的,但是缴纳完保释金离开监狱时每一个人脸上的微笑都是真诚的。

P192:As an exhibition of the latter, Rustin had in mind his first visit to the King home, when he shouted to stop someone from sitting on a loaded pistol that was lying on the couch.
误:说到后者,就像一个展览,拉斯廷脑子里浮现出他第一次到金家时的情形:一个人看到他,立刻端起沙发上已经上了子弹的**,拉斯廷大叫着阻止了这个人的进一步动作
正:说到后者,拉斯廷提到了他第一次造访金家时的情形:客厅沙发上随随便便地扔着一把已经上了膛的**,有个人差点就一屁股坐在**上面,还是拉斯廷大叫着阻止了他。

P192:King spoke knowledgeably of figures like Muste
误:金讲话时头头是道的样子和马斯特一样
正:而且金在谈论马斯特等人的时候也说得头头是道。
分析:按照误译,原文应为King spoke knowledgeably like Muste

P193:He had become fixated on a desire to transfer his informal role personally to the new nonviolence tactician from the FOR staff.
误:过去,他曾是FOR的一名成员,但是现在,他渴望扮演新的角色,那就是一个以独立非正式身份成为非暴力主义战术策略家,他已经变得相当迷恋于这个愿望。
正:直到目前他在抵制运动当中都只是一位非正式的个人顾问,现在他却越发痴迷于为自己争取一个有名分的角色,成为来自和解团契的非暴力主义战术家。

P195:The President asked FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover to present a classified briefing about race on March 9, 1956,
误:总统要求联邦调查局局长J.埃德加.胡佛于1956年3月9日提交一份有关种族分类通报
正:总统要求联邦调查局局长J.埃德加.胡佛在1956年3月9日的内阁会议上提交一份有关种族问题的保密简报。
分析:误译理解错了classified一词。

P196:Hoover stopped short of saying that Republican civil rights legislation would reflect Communist influence
误:胡佛说,共和党的民权立法将反映共产党的影响力,但他的话到这里就戛然而止。
正:不过胡佛并没有进一步公然声称共和党的民权立法将会反映共产党的影响力。
分析:stop short of意为to decide not to do something, or to almost do something, or partly do something without completing it

P197:In the interim, Adams benefited by the release of the "Southern Manifesto,' which equated integration with subversion of the Constitution and pledged the entire region to fierce resistance.
误:……该宣言颠覆宪法的整合,并对整个地区承诺将发起激烈的反抗。
正:……该宣言声称种族融合运动等同于颠覆宪法,还一口咬定整个南方地区都将激烈反抗种族融合运动。

P197:The document was signed by some ninety Southern congressmen and all the senators except the two Tennessee mavericks, Estes Kefauver and Albert Gore, and the Senate Majority Leader, Lyndon Johnson of Texas.
误:签署该文件的议员中,90名是南方国会议员,其中包括全部南方州参议院议员;
正:来自南方各州的九十名众议院议员与全部参议院议员署名支持这份文件,

P197:He managed to weaken a few of Brownell's proposals and to make sure that when the bill was submitted to Congress, it came from the Attorney General and not, as was customary for major bills, from the President.
误:他设法削弱几个布劳内尔的建议,并确保其依照重大法案的惯例提交给国会时,人们确信它只是来自总检察长,而不是来自总统的立场。
正:他设法削弱了布劳内尔的几条建议的力度,并确保法案提交给国会人们都会认为该法案仅仅出自司法部长之手,而不是依照重大法案的惯例来自总统。

P198:He committed these judgments to print, along with many others that offended his white readers.
误:他承诺,会把这些判断和许多其他得罪白人读者的内容都在报纸上付印。
正:他将这些判断以及许多其他得罪白人读者的内容全都刊登在了自家报纸上。
分析:韦氏词典对commit的定义是to put into a place for disposal or safekeeping。

P198:From England came Keith Kyle of the London Economist
误:英国《伦敦经济学家》派来的是基思.凯尔
正:……《经济学家》的基思.凯尔
分析:做中英翻译而不知道《经济学家》的正式名称恐怕有些说不过去。

P201:The MIA cases might wind up in the U.S. Supreme Court, King reasoned, where the NAACP lawyers had an unsurpassed record in civil rights cases.
误:MIA的案子可能会在美国最高法院结案,金的理由是,NAACP律师在那里漂亮地打赢过一场民权案件诉讼。
正:根据金的盘算,蒙改联的诉讼很可能会被呈交给美国最高法院,而协进会律师在最高法院打赢民权案件官司的记录可谓无人能比,因此很有必要与协进会保持良好关系。
分析:an unsurpassed record in civil rights cases绝不止有一桩案子。

P204:Thousands of dollars had in fact been misappropriated out of the MIA treasury, as car-pool drivers and assorted hustlers were charging the MIA for oceans of gasoline and truckloads of imaginary spare tires.
误:实际上,MIA账户上的那几千美元确实被挪用,用来支付拼车系统司机和各色骗子的海量汽油和想象出来的卡车备胎的费用。
正:确实有上千美元从蒙改联财务部挪用了出去,因为有些拼车司机与各式各样的骗子经常信口开河地虚报油耗与备胎消耗数量。假如他们所言属实,那么他们消耗的汽油足以灌满大海,他们磨坏的备胎简直要用卡车来装载。
分析:海量汽油是虚报数量而不是实际消耗数量,此外误译大概把truckload看成truck了。

P205:The defection and swift decapitation of Fields demonstrated that public criticism of the MIA would not only be seized upon by white opponents but also taken as a personal criticism of King, which would not be tolerated.
误:菲尔兹的叛变以及对他的迅速铲除表明,既不能对MIA进行公开批评,以防白人对手拿来做文章;也不能批评金个人,否则就是不可容忍的事情。
正:菲尔兹的叛变以及针对他的迅速镇压表明,针对蒙改联的公开批评不仅会让白人们抓住把柄,还会被视为针对金的人身攻击,而这两者都是不可容忍的。

P206:King, more conscious than ever of seniority and protocol among leaders, told Nixon that he did not want to testify unless Roy Wilkins approved.
误:在众多老资历和讲究礼节的领导人中,金表现得更加清醒。他告诉尼克松自己不想去做证,除非得到罗伊.威尔金斯的批准。
正:此时的金比以往任何时候都更清楚论资排辈与礼数周到对于领导人之间的交往意味着什么,于是他告诉尼克松,除非得到罗伊.威尔金斯的首肯,否则他不想赴会陈词。

206:The ever-repentant Graetz later confessed to a fleeting surge of pride in his son's combative spirit.
误:格雷茨对此从不后悔,后来他还承认,对于儿子的好斗情绪,他当时有一种瞬间激增的自豪感。
正:向来惯于自省自责的格雷茨后来承认,儿子的斗争精神令他心里陡然涌起了一阵自豪感。
分析:误译正好将ever-repentant理解反了。

P207:Cabinet secretary Maxwell Rabb replied perfunctorily for the President that "the situation in Montgomery has been followed with interest.'
误:内阁部部长马克斯韦尔.拉布敷衍地回答总统说:“一直在关注蒙哥马利的局势。”
正:内阁秘书马克斯韦尔.拉布敷衍地代表总统回答道,“蒙哥马利的局势始终受到关注”。

P207:"We must recognize that it is reason alone that will determine our rate of progress,' Stevenson replied to Wilkins, who proceeded to denounce the candidate's blithe vagueness in such blistering language that Stevenson's friend Eleanor Roosevelt threatened to resign from the board of the NAACP.
误:威尔金斯还指责这位总统候选人史蒂文森的轻率暖昧,言辞激烈,以至于史蒂文森的朋友埃莉诺.罗斯福威威胁要退出NAACP的董事会。史蒂文森回复威尔金斯说:“我们必须认识到,这是唯一决定我们竞选进展的问题。”
正:他回应道:“我们必须认识到,理性是决定进步速率的唯一因素。”不依不饶的威尔金斯继续措辞激烈地指责史蒂文森发言轻佻暧昧,气得史蒂文森的朋友埃莉诺.罗斯福威胁要退出协进会的董事会。
分析:rate of progress与竞选无关。denounce the candidate's blithe vagueness in such blistering language,blithe vagueness指代the candidate,blistering language修饰denounce,两者不能并列。

P207:In October, Stevenson's concern over the issue prompted his appearance at a rally in Harlem, where he criticized as too passive Eisenhower's statement that it "makes no difference' what he thought personally of the Supreme Court's school desegregation decision. "I support this decision!' cried Stevenson.
误:10月份,史蒂文森对事件的关注促使他参加哈莱姆的一个集会,在那里他批评艾森豪威尔的声明过于被动,等于“什么也没做”,这让他想起最高法院做出的在学校废除种族隔离的决定。“我支持这个决定!”史蒂文森哭了。
正:到了10月份,担心种族问题会影响选情的史蒂文森参加了在哈莱姆区举行的一场集会,在集会现场他批评艾森豪威尔总统的公开声明过于被动,以至于无论总统本人对于最高法院废除学校内部种族隔离的裁决抱有怎样的支持态度都“无关紧要”。然后他高声叫道:“而我支持这项判决结果!”

P207:His supporters argued that his statement set him apart from Eisenhower as more friendly to Negroes, while his detractors replied that it meant little for a candidate to say he supported the law of the land, as did Eisenhower, while refusing to say what he would do to enforce it.
误:他的支持者认为,他的发言把他和艾森豪威尔区分开来,让人感觉他对黑人更友好;而他的批评者说,这意味着没有候选人会说,我支持国家的法律,但同时拒绝表态将如何执行它。而艾森豪威尔就是这么做的。
正:史蒂文森的支持者认为这段发言彰显了他与艾森豪威尔的不同,体现了他对待黑人的更友善立场。而他的批评者则反唇相讥,认为身为总统竞选人这样空口说白话实在很没意思,因为他就像艾森豪威尔一样口口声声表示自己支持依法办事,但同时却又拒绝表明自己将要采取怎样的手段将法律落到实处。

P208:Eisenhower made scathing private remarks about the "mid-Victorian style' of the Suez attack. If the United States supported such blatant colonialism, he said, the reaction "might well array the world from Dakar to the Philippine Islands against us.'
误:艾森豪威尔就苏伊士运河袭击发表了“维多利亚中期时代风格式”严厉的个人评论。如果美国支持这种公然的殖民主义,他说:“反击很可能在全世界从达喀尔到菲律宾群岛排着队来对付我们。”
正:艾森豪威尔在私密场合严厉抨击了苏伊士运河袭击事件,认为这种做法“完全是维多利亚时代中期的蛮横做派”。如果美国支持这种公然的殖民主义行径,那么“从达喀尔到菲律宾群岛的世界各地恐怕都会成为我们的对头。”

P208:It would shift all the advantages of judicial delay from the MIA to the city.
误:法律裁决的滞后性令所有优势从MIA一方转向城市政府一方。
正:这样一来,法律裁决滞后性带来的优势就会从蒙改联一方转向市政府一方。

P215:At 2:30 A.M. on January 10, the day the conference was to begin,Mother King shook Abernathy awake to take an emergency phone call.
误:1月1 0日的子夜2点30分,会议才刚开始,金的母亲摇醒阿伯纳斯接听一个紧急电话。
正:1月1 0日凌晨2点30分,也就是会议即将开始当天,老金夫人摇醒了阿博纳西,让他赶紧下床接听一个紧急电话。
分析:to begin是即将开始。从常理推断也不会在凌晨召开会议。

P217:City inspectors, granting Abernathy's desperate wish to hold Sunday services there, stipulated wisely that no one was to go upstairs, as their weight might cause the temporary beams to collapse.
误:他们借口人的体重可能会导致临时支架倒塌,不允许任何人上楼,阿伯纳斯一度因此而感到绝望,因为他有可能无法在礼拜堂举行主日仪式。阿伯纳斯同意了监察员的指令。
正:市政府的安全监察员们也很体谅阿博纳西希望在教堂里举行周日礼拜活动的迫切愿望,不过他们依然明智地要求教会全体人员不得上楼,因为他们的体重可能会压垮地下室里的临时横梁。阿博纳西同意了。
分析:误译对于人物的情绪理解有误,并且搞错了逻辑关系,大概是因为没有正确理解granting一词。

P217:When the rumor mill passed the word that one of the Graetz bombs had been meant for a Methodist preacher within the MIA, that preacher actually became consumed with regret that he had not been bombed--to the point that he later had a mental breakdown.
误:谣言榨汁机传出这样的消息说,格雷茨家的一个炸弹其实是要针对MIA内部的一名卫理公会牧师,格雷茨因为遗憾没被炸到而越发消沉——到后来他曾一度精神崩溃。
正:不过没多久就有流言声称格雷茨家的两枚炸弹当中有一枚其实并不是为他预备的,而是针对着蒙改联内部的另一位卫理会牧师。这位牧师因为遗憾自己家没被炸到而意气消沉,后来甚至一度陷入了精神崩溃。

P218:Some of King's partisans looked upon Nixon with the same tart condescension that moved one of them publicly to refer to Rosa Parks as "an adornment of the movement.'
误:金的同党对待尼克松尖酸刻薄的俯视态度,就如同有人站出来公开指罗萨.帕克斯为“抵制运动的花瓶”一样。
正:一部分金的党徒们对待尼克松的态度确实非常尖酸刻薄居高临下,以至于他们当中有人居然公开贬斥罗莎.帕克斯无非是“抵制运动的花瓶”。
分析:原文是递进关系而不是并列关系。

P218:A roiling undertow ensured that the MIA would never again play a major part in American racial politics.
误:令人不安的潜流将可能使MIA不再是美国种族政治的重要组成部分。
正:这股浑浊的潜流彻底断绝了蒙改联在美国种族政治领域进一步发挥更重要作用的可能性。
分析:误译忽视了ensure

P220:The Negro population at large had just absorbed a historical reminder of local law and random violence. What little had been lost to the segregationists in the boycott case had since been avenged many times over.
误:大量黑人民众吞下了当地法律和随机暴力的历史性记忆,对于一直以来避受的数倍于此的报复,抵制案对种族隔离主义者的失败简直微乎其微。
正:另一方面,黑人民众整体上吸取了当地法律和随机暴力的历史教训。尽管黑人社区在抵制运动案件的审理过程当中的确被种族隔离主义者占了些许便宜,但是他们在现实生活当中争取得来的成果却远比这点损失大得多。
分析:误译自己大概都看不懂自己翻译了什么。
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 楼主| 发表于 2017-8-28 15:35 | 显示全部楼层
第六章:

P224:To the horror of his family, Wofford enrolled for two years at Howard University Law School in Washington, becoming the first white student there since the female suffragists of the 1910s.

误:让他的家人震惊的是,他在华盛顿州霍华德大学法学院注册学习了两年,成为该校自1910年女权运动以来的第一个白人学生。

正:接下来他又不顾家里人的极度震惊,前往华盛顿州霍华德大学法学院注册学习了两年,成为该校自从二十世纪最初十年女性投票权运动以来的招收的第一名白人学生。

分析:suffragist是专有名词,不能与女权主义混淆。

P225:Then he found a job at Covington and Burling, Dean Acheson's blue-chip law firm in Washington, where he divided his time between corporate clients and the few scattered souls agitating for integration,

误:……在那里,他主要负责应对大公司客户和那些少数鼓吹整合的灵魂人物,

正:……在那里他一边应付大公司客户,一边与少数鼓吹种族融合的人们打交道,

分析:soul本身就可以指代人。

P225:King was a hero, and as he spoke, representatives of other Negro organizations were rapping on the door.

误:金成了英雄,他一边演说,其他黑人组织的代表就一边有节奏地跺着脚回应他。

正:金成了英雄,他在台上演说的时候台下其他黑人组织的代表都在一下一下地砸门以示应和。

P227:...and Levison personally had raised most of the advertising funds for a Coretta King-Harry Belafonte-Duke Ellington concert a few weeks before Rustin introduced him personally to the Kings.

误:在拉斯廷亲自把利维森介绍给金夫妇之前的几个星期,利维森还亲自为柯瑞塔.金和哈里.贝拉方特在杜克艾灵顿的音乐会募集了绝大部分广告费。

正:在拉斯廷亲自把利维森介绍给金夫妇之前的几个星期,利维森还亲自为柯瑞塔.金、哈里.贝拉方特以及艾灵顿公爵三人联袂出演的音乐会募集了绝大部分广告赞助。

分析:Duke Ellington是美国作曲家,钢琴家,爵士乐大师。

P227:Every morning, Davis arrived ceremoniously in his own chauffeur-driven Pierce-Arrow,

误:每天早晨,戴维斯身着盛装坐着自己的皮尔斯——阿罗汽车到达学院,

正:每天早晨戴维斯都会让自家司机开着一辆皮尔斯阿罗汽车将自己风风光光地送进学院,

分析:误译没看见chauffeur-driven

P229:All this infuriated Ben Davis, who retorted that the Gates faction always blamed the party instead of the reactionaries.

误:所有这一切激怒了本.戴维斯,他反驳说,盖茨派从来不批判,反动派倒总是指责本党。

正:这套说辞激怒了本.戴维斯,他反驳说,盖茨一派只会指责本党,却从来不去批判反动派。

分析:这次是审校的责任。

P229:The convention itself was filled with bitterness and gallows humor, with informants circulating in conspicuous droves.

误:这次大会本身充满了苦涩和黑色幽默,告密者周旋于著名人物中间。

正:大会本身充满了苦涩与黑色幽默,联邦调查局的线人们成群结队地在会场里游荡,周围的人们无不侧目而视。

分析:根据韦氏词典, conspicuous有attracting attention之意,drove有a group of animals driven or moving in a body之意。

P230:Davis welded himself to the contortions and reversals of Soviet strategy for the remaining six years of his life,

误:在6年的职业生涯中,戴维斯把自己和苏联扭曲和颠倒的战略牢牢焊在一起,

正:在人生最后六年的职业生涯中,戴维斯把自己与苏联方面扭曲颠倒的战略牢牢焊在了一起,

P231:King wanted to make his case to Eisenhower personally--and to be seen doing so--but the President ducked

误:金想亲自把他的案子交给艾森豪威尔——看起来也确实这么做了,但总统躲开了

正:金希望在艾森豪威尔面前亲自阐述自己的主张——两人会面的场景还要得到公共宣传——但总统选择了回避。

分析:误译太生硬。

P232:There were three billion people in the world, he grew fond of saying--roughly a billion each in the Soviet and Western blocs, and a third billion in the emerging poorer nations such as Ghana.

误:世界上有30亿人口——他从小就喜欢这么说,苏联和西方集团大致各有10亿,第三个10亿就在加纳这样新兴的贫穷国家中。

正:按照尼克松惯用的叙事口径,全世界共有三十亿人口,苏联集团与西方集团大致各有十亿,剩下的十亿人则居住在加纳这样的新兴贫穷国家。

P232:His experiences in Ghana helped secure his belief that the Zeitgeist, or spirit of the age, was rising to the defense of oppressed peoples.

误:他在加纳的经历帮助他坚定了信念,他的时代精神被提升到为保护被压迫人民的境界。

正:加纳的经历促使他进一步坚定了信念:如今的时代精神正在为世界各地遭受压迫的人民撑腰助力。

P232:As fresh world travelers, he and Coretta returned through Rome, Geneva, Paris, and London, hearing everywhere a clatter about what would become of restive colonies on the southern portion of the globe.

误:一路上,他们到处都听到人们叽叽喳喳地唠叨,说地球南部的殖民地将成为动荡不安的地区。

正:一路上他们到处都能听到人们正在众说纷纭地讨论动荡不安的南半球殖民地面临着怎样的未来。

P233:For King, who was plainly enchanted with the notion of Nkrumah and the duchess “dancing with the lord on an equal plane”, the return trip through London had become almost a journey of temptation.

误:对金来说,显然被恩克鲁玛的见解迷住了,而公爵夫人“在一架平等的飞机上与贵族共舞”的话,更几乎使经伦敦回程成为旅途的一个诱惑。

正:对于金来说,恩克鲁玛与公爵夫人共同构成了一套令他心醉的意象——“在平等的地面上与贵族共舞”——而途径伦敦的返程之旅更是充满了诱惑。

分析:将plane直接翻译成飞机还真是朴实刚健的很。

P234:Wilkins worked the inside game in Washington, where he alone had a staff.

误:威尔金斯独自一人在华盛顿周旋运作。

正:威尔金斯则在华盛顿周旋运作,因为只有他在华盛顿拥有属于自己的办事班子。

P236:Rustin already knew that, but he puzzled over King's ability to move widely divergent audiences with material that seemed suited to a college student's notebook.

误:……金演讲用到的素材似乎只适合于抄录在大学生的笔记本上,但他能借此激励截然不同的广大听众。

正:……哪怕采用看上去摘抄自大学生笔记本的枯燥素材,金依然能轻而易举地打动身份背景差异悬殊的各种听众。

P238:Rustin's logic, to which King acceded, was that King could not discuss the meeting without sounding partisan or risking contradiction from the Administration.

误:为金所认同的拉斯廷的逻辑是,他不能讨论这个无党派之争或者不与政府相悖的会谈。

正:按照拉斯廷的逻辑,金只要谈到会谈内容就难免会卷入党派之争或者与政府方面的宣传相冲突,因此还是尽量打马虎眼为妙。金也认同他的看法。

P241:This diplomatic mimicry was small consolation to Wilkins

误:这种模仿外交的方式对威尔金斯是一个小小的安慰,

正:尽管金的手腕如此圆熟,但却并不能给威尔金斯带来多少安慰。

P243:In a wild radio speech, he accused white soldiers from the "occupation forces' of following the female Negro students into the girls' bathrooms at Central High.

误:在一次不着边际的广播讲话中,他指责“占领军”中的白人士兵,说他们居然允许黑人女学生进入中央高中的女浴室。

正:在一次不着边际的广播讲话中,他指责“占领军”中的白人士兵居然允许黑人女学生使用中央高中的女厕所。

P244:As King struggled against the tide, competition from the NAACP was hardly the sole obstacle he encountered among his own allies.

误:就在金逆势奋斗的时候,来自NAACP的竞争几乎成为他在自己同盟军中遭遇到的唯一障碍。

正:就在金逆势奋斗的时候,来自协进会的竞争很难说是他在同盟当中遭遇到的唯一障碍。

P246:Not long after meeting "a most extraordinary young minister' in Baltimore, Levison had stunned his wife by telling her that Martin King was his only true friend in the world

误:巴尔的摩会议是“一个最不寻常的年轻部长”会议,此后不久,利维森就对妻子说,金是他在世界上唯一真正的朋友,这番话惊呆了他的妻子。

正:在巴尔的摩初次遇到这位“最非凡的青年教士”之后不久,利维森就向愕然无语的妻子宣布马丁.金是他在世界上结交的唯一一位真朋友。

P248:There would be mass meetings, evangelical appeals to the unregistered, then registration classes and support committees for those making the attempt.

误:福音会的群众集会吸引了那些未登记的黑人,接着,人们开始注册类别,并支持委员会所做的那些尝试。

正:计划的内容包括在弥撒大会上言辞恳切地说服尚未登记的黑人采取行动,并且向打算登记的黑人提供登记手续介绍课程,还要成立委员会来支持他们的举动。

P249:While he rejected the notion of justifying future segregation on the basis of its past pernicious effects upon Negroes, he called upon Negroes to improve their conduct.

误:一些观念基于过去施加给黑人的恶性影响,为今后的种族隔离进行了辩护,金对这些观点加以否定的同时,他呼吁黑人提高自己的操行。

正:他一方面基于种族隔离在过去对黑人造成的恶劣影响来反对未来的种族隔离,同时又呼吁黑人要有意识地改进自己的行为表现以免授人以柄。

P253:King's secretary reported that Baker was "a little abrupt' after being told that he was not available to take one of her calls.

误:金对秘书说,他没有接到过任何一个来自贝克的电话,秘书汇报说,贝克“有点莽撞”

正:金的秘书报告称,每当贝克得知金不方便接听电话的时候态度总会变得有点“唐突”。

P255:He struck a positive tone, painting vivid pictures of the beneficial effects the President could set in motion with gestures such as speeches, White House conferences, and simple statements on the moral imperatives of racial integration.

误:他以令人印象深刻的积极语调,把这种力量的作用描绘得生动形象——总统可以在诸如演讲、白宫会议,以及关于种族融合道德要求的简单陈述中,将这种力量辅以手势加以运用就能获得有益的效果

正:他以令人印象深刻的积极语调为总统描绘了一幅生动的画面:总统只需做些姿态就能为民权事业带来极大的裨益,例如公开演讲、白宫会议以及关于种族融合的道义必要性的简单陈述。

P256:...more divisive leaders would emerge if the current ones could not soon point to greater progress.

误:如果这些领袖眼下不能尽快指明取得更大进步的方向,那就会有更多人分裂出去。

正:如果目前的黑人领袖们不能尽快指明取得更大进展的方向,就必然会出现更擅长制造分裂的黑人领袖。

P256:Except for Eisenhower's endorsement of the need for stronger voting rights legislation, nothing was concluded beyond a general agreement that the meeting had been constructive.

误:除了需要艾森豪威尔为投票权立法给予更强有力的支持外,大家一致同意本次会议具有建设性

正:参会人员一致同意本次会议具有建设性,但是本次会面的唯一实际成果就是艾森豪威尔承诺要向投票权立法给予更强有力的支持。

P258:Late on the afternoon of Friday, August 29, 1958,

误:上个星期五,也就是1958年8月29日的晚上,

正:1958年8月29日星期五下午晚些时候,

P260:Inside, a white judge tried to preserve order and a white prosecutor prepared to outline a case brimming with salacious facts, while the audience waited eagerly to hear what the Negro antagonists would say about each other under oath,

误:而观众们则热切地等着听双方黑人律师宣誓说实话之后怎么相互抗辩。

正:听众们热切地期待着控辩双方的黑人当事人宣誓证言属实之后对于彼此有什么说法。

分析:律师用不着宣誓。

P260:King and Coretta, arriving just behind the Abernathys at the courtroom, found that policemen would admit only Abernathy, who waved a subpoena commanding him to appear.

误:金和柯瑞塔紧随阿伯纳斯夫妇之后到达法庭,但他们发现,警察晃着张传票命令阿伯纳斯站出来——他们只允许他一个人入场。

正:金和柯瑞塔紧随阿博纳西夫妇之后到达法庭,但他们发现警察只允许阿博纳西一个人入场,因为他手里挥舞着一张传票。

P262:Locked out instead of in, King soon found himself standing outside city hall alone--blocked from entering the same forbidding place outside town that had so terrified him after his first arrest, and frightened him still.

误:在第一次被逮捕并关进城外监狱时,他曾经非常惊恐,然而,当他被同一个地方拒之门外时,他依然感到害怕。

正:这一回金被锁在了牢门的另一边,很快他就孤零零地站在了市政厅门外。上次遭到逮捕并关进城外的监狱时他曾经一度吓得魂不附体,至今想起来依旧心有余悸。

P264:King was set up behind a desk in the back of the shoe department. To this rather humble setting flocked a number of New York's civic leaders, mostly Negroes and Jews,

误:在鞋品部后面放置了一张桌子,金就坐在桌子后面。络绎不绝的纽约公民——主要是黑人和犹太人,涌向这个谦恭的位置。

正:商场在鞋品部的放置了一张桌子以供金签字。纽约市的民权活动领袖们络绎不绝地涌向了这个略显简陋的场所。

分析:韦氏词典指出humble有 not costly or luxurious之意

P265:Nettie Carter Jackson, Grand Daughter Ruler of the Elks and one of the sponsors of the promotion……

误:埃尔克斯家族的大女儿统治者内蒂·卡特·杰克逊是促销活动的赞助商之一,

正:角鹿社的长女主君内蒂.卡特.杰克逊(Nettie Carter Jackson)是本次签售活动的赞助人之一

分析:维基百科指出Elks的全称是Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks,是一个总部位于纽约的会社组织。

P265:Its hilt protruded from King's chest at a point a few inches below and to the left of the knot in his tie.

误:金的领结左下方几英寸的胸口处露着刀柄,

正:刀刃插进了金的领带打结左下方几英寸的胸口处,只有刀柄还露在外面。

分析:领结是bow tie。

P265:Curry had been raving incoherently about persecution and torture and her anger at King for having undermined her Roman Catholic faith.

误:……她对金的愤怒已经破坏了她的罗马天主教信仰。

正:……她之所以痛恨金则是因为金削弱了她的罗马天主教信仰。

分析:主语不对。

P265:A police matron had discovered a fully loaded Italian automatic inside her blouse.

误:一名警方女舍监在她的上衣里面发现了一把全套装置的意大利全自动**。

正:一名女警还在库里的上衣口袋里面发现了一把上满膛的意大利全自动**。

分析:如此任性的误译我竟无言以对。

P266:She had used an instrument quite different from the kitchen knife common to urban stabbings:

误:她曾经带过一把和普通厨刀完全不同的刀具到城里行刺。

正:城市持刀伤人案件的最常见凶器就是厨房刀具,但是本案的凶器却别具一格。

P275:Even among civil rights activists, Clennon King was slipping away--a kook not worth fighting for.

误:即使身处民权活动家之中,克莱农.金还是在逃遁——一个神经病是不值得为其去战斗的。

正:即便在民权活动家的圈子里,这位克莱农.金(Clennon King)也正在变得越来越不招人待见,因为大家都觉得不值得为了一个神经病强行出头。

P276:He explained that his suggestion was a consequence of the failure by the United States and the Soviet Union to have the "faith and moral courage' to stop the arms race.

误:他解释说,美国和苏联没能用“信仰和道德勇气”停止军备竞赛,正因为美国和苏联都失败了,这才有他的这个建议。

正:在他看来,美国与苏联都没有停止军备竞赛的“信仰与道德勇气”。正因为这两个超级大国都失败了,金才打算提一点不知当不当讲的意见。

P276:King tried to calm their fears, to minimize the risk, to remind them that the true test of Gandhian nonviolence came in the severest trials of one's own life.

误:金试图平息记者们的忧虑,努力降低风险,并力图提醒他们,甘地非暴力的真正考验走进了人们生命中最严厉的审判中。

正:金试图平息记者们的忧虑,努力降低风险,并力图提醒他们,甘地主义非暴力运动的真正考验总会来自最艰难的人生试炼。

P277:All seven were white Protestant men from small towns; six had crew cuts.

误:这7个新教白人男性全部来自小城镇,并且最后裁掉了6人,

正:所谓的“水星七人组”全都是来自小城镇的白人男性新教徒,其中六个人留着平头。

P280:Less spectacular injustices were pressing steadily on King.

误:持续强加在金身上的惊动一时的不公正事件已经不多了。

正:与此同时,远比私刑更为低调的不公正也正在向金步步紧逼。

P281:The SCLC board began searching again for a replacement with the same impossible combination of qualities

误:SCLC董事会又再次开始寻找综合条件完全相同实则绝无可能的替代者。

正:然后领导大会又再次开始寻找他的继任者。最理想的人选必须满足两条完全不可能共存于一身的品质

P288:"Walking the benches' referred to ministers who leaped from the pulpit in mid-sermon to preach ecstatically as they danced up and down the pews, literally stepping over the swooning bodies in the congregation.

误:“走长凳”是指布道讲到一半时,牧师从讲坛上一跃而下欣喜若狂地讲道,同时在长凳间上下起舞,逐个跨过会众中那些昏昏欲倒的身体。

正:“走长椅”是黑人教会的特色之一。布道期间兴奋欲狂的牧师会突然跳下布道坛,手舞足蹈叫地冲进听众席,脚踩长椅靠背凌空行走,从兴奋昏厥的会众头顶上迈过去。

P293:In San Francisco, at the annual convention of the AFL-CIO, A. Philip Randolph spoke from the floor three times in a single day, each time seeking action against official segregation within member unions. This was one time too many for AFL-CIO president George Meany.

误:在旧金山的AFL- CIO年度大会上,A.菲利普.伦道夫一天内在台下发言了3次,每一次都在工会成员中谋求反对官方隔离政策的行动。对AFL-CIO的主席乔治·米尼来说,一次都嫌多。

正:在旧金山的劳联-产联年度大会上,A.菲利普.伦道夫一天内三次在听众席上起身发言,每一次都呼吁工会成员采取反对种族隔离官方政策的切实行动。头两次发言的时候劳联-产联主席乔治.米尼(George Meany)一直按捺着没有表态,到了第三次他终于忍不住发作了。

P293:The demand had more to do with greed and anxiety than with military judgment, he believed, and was subverting both politics and military professionalism.

误:他相信,基于贪婪和焦虑的请求比基于军事判断的请求要走得更远,并且正在颠覆政治和军事职业水准。

正:他相信这些人之所以要求增加军费主要是因为贪婪和焦虑而不是理性的军事判断,而且他们的要求正在颠覆政治和军事两方面的职业操守。

P294:and the prodigious energies he had thrown into a thousand speeches had exposed as an illusion the hope that his larger purpose could be accomplished by political evangelism.

误:而且,他投入上千次演讲中的巨大能量也暴露了他幻想一般的希望,那就是,他更大的目标可以通过政治福音来完成。

正:在职业生涯刚刚起步的时候,他满心以为可以通过政治福音来实现更为宏大的目标,因此他才会毫不吝惜地将大量精力投入上千场演讲中,但是事实却证明他寄托在政治福音身上的希望只是水中捞月而已。
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 楼主| 发表于 2017-9-6 11:24 | 显示全部楼层
第七章

P298:how to fill the seats of students who needed to go to the bathroom

误:如何占据需要去浴室的学生的座位。

正:某位静坐者上厕所的时候其他人如何占住空位。

P298:Lawson moved them out five hundred strong

误:劳森带领500名强者出发了。

正:劳森带领着五百多人的队伍浩浩荡荡地出发了。

分析:误译真乃强者所为。

P299:As the third week of sit-ins began, King himself conferred with potential defenders in New York.

误:随着静坐活动进入第三个星期,金本人也在纽约开始和他的潜在被告人进行磋商。

正:随着静坐活动进入第三个星期,金本人也赶赴纽约向他的潜在辩护人说明了情况。

P303:the dignified pillar of the Negro community whom Vernon Johns had shamed many years earlier for paying "his semi-annual visit' to church

误:这位黑人群体中的显贵在许多年前曾因为“访问了半年”教堂而被弗农·约翰斯羞辱。

正:这位黑人群体的支柱多年以前曾经遭到弗农.约翰斯的公然嘲讽,说他是“半年才来访问一次教堂的稀客”

分析:回去查查第一章。

P307:On the Monday following the attacks, King surrendered at the Montgomery County Courthouse on the income tax charges.

误:在袭击发生后的周一,金在蒙哥马利法院大楼表示接受所得税指控并认罪。

正:袭击发生后的次周周一,金在蒙哥马利法院大楼接受了偷逃所得税的指控。

分析:一上来就认罪,官司就不用打了。

P324:Lawson thanked Muste, saying he knew it was a tortured gesture of kindness on King's part to send someone Lawson respected so much

误:劳森对马斯特表示感谢,他还说,穆尔是自己非常尊敬的人,而对善良的金来说,送走穆尔对劳森如此尊敬的人是一种折磨人的姿态。

正:劳森对马斯特表示感谢并且表示他一向尊敬马斯特,他很清楚金专门请来马斯特向他传达消息是多么体贴的善意姿态,而对于金本人来说做出这样的姿态又是多么痛苦的折磨。

分析:以其昏昏使人昭昭。

P328:Hitherto, whites had been able to categorize Negroes as both a class and a race of laborers, because the educated ones they knew tended to be famous, idiosyncratic by definition and set apart from ordinary life.

误:此时,白人终于能够把黑人当作一个阶级和一个种族的劳动者,因为以他们所知道的那些受过教育的人来说,往往会被定义为著名的、非凡的人物,并且和普通人区别开来。

正:此前白人眼中的黑人一直是由体力劳动者构成的阶级与种族。白人所熟知的黑人知识分子都是些盛名加身并且特立独行的人物,与日常生活扯不上关系。

P329:intellectuals debated how this bland technocrat fit with the global image of evil incarnate that had fastened upon the Nazis in the fifteen years since Hitler's death.

误:学者们都在讨论,这位平淡无奇的技术专家是如何适应其邪恶的化身,并且在希特勒死亡长达15年的时间里,被当成全世界的邪恶象征。

正:在希特勒殒命之后的十五年里,世界各地的人们都想当然地将纳粹视为恶魔的化身。可是眼前这个杀人无算的纳粹战犯看上去却根本没有哪怕一丁点凶狠歹毒的气质,反而是一位极其平庸乏味以至于泯然众人的技术官僚。如此鲜明的反差成为了知识界的热门辩论题材。

分析:逻辑理不顺的翻译必然南辕北辙。

P329:and American leaders set examples by scurrying into underground bomb shelters

误:人们以美国领导人为榜样胡乱窜进地下防空洞。

正:政治领袖们以身作则地匆匆钻进了防空洞。

P331:Theirs was still a minority party, he kept reminding his supporters, and he was not Eisenhower.

误:民主党仍然是国会的少数党,他一直这样提醒自己的支持者,而且他也不是艾森豪威尔。

正:他反复提醒自己的支持者,共和党目前仍然是少数党,而且他也不是艾森豪威尔。

分析:低级错误。

P333:the Negro vote no longer could be contested on the basis of popularity, because civil rights was building to the status of a sacred cause.

误:在普及性的意义上,黑人选民的选票投票权已经不再有争议,因为公民权利已经具有神圣事业的地位。

正:由于民权运动正在为自身奠定神圣事业的地位,今后谁也不能凭借明星的人气来争取黑人选票了。
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 楼主| 发表于 2017-9-18 11:14 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 万年看客 于 2017-9-18 11:15 编辑

第八章:

P338:Patterson's suit differed from the one filed earlier by Police Commissioner Sullivan of Montgomery in that he named King himself as a defendant, even though King's name did not appear as a sponsor of the advertisement.
误:帕特森的案子不同于早些时候由蒙哥马利治安专员沙利文提起的诉讼,在那个案子里,尽管金并不是广告发起人,但沙利文还是把金本人列为被告。
正:与早些时候由蒙哥马利治安专员苏利文提起的诉讼相比,帕特森案件的不同之处在于他把金本人也列为了被告,尽管金并不是广告发起人。
分析:这一章的误译者最常犯的错误就是找不准主语,以下的误译大都是这个错误。

P338:Aside from hurting King personally and threatening the extinction of his organization, the vendetta compounded the difficulties of his political objectives in the presidential election.
误:除了亲自上阵伤害金、威胁其组织的覆灭,长期的争斗也加剧了帕特森在总统选举中实现政治目标的困难。
正:帕特森不仅亲自上阵伤害金并且威胁要剿灭他的组织,而且他的复仇还加剧了金在政界遭遇到的困难。

P339:Ted Sorensen, Senator Kennedy's closest aide, advised Wofford at their first meeting not to become too closely associated with Shriver, because the insiders thought of him as the "house Communist.'
误:泰德·素伦森是肯尼迪参议员最亲密的助手,他建议沃福德在第一次会面时,不要发展和施菜弗过于密切的联系,因为他们的内部圈子视施莱弗为“共产党议员”。
正:肯尼迪参议员最亲密的助手泰德.索伦森(Ted Sorensen)第一次见到沃福德时就建议他不要与施莱弗发展过于密切的联系,因为圈内人都认为施莱弗是肯尼迪家族的“家养共产党”。

P340:Robinson told reporters that he was "not nearly as critical as I have been,'
误:罗宾逊告诉记者,他“几乎和过去一样不重要”,
正:投桃报李的罗宾森则告诉记者,他看待肯尼迪的态度“远远不如过去那样挑剔了”。

P341:If Powell did carry out his threat, however, it would matter very little that his charge was untrue.
误:如果鲍威尔真的把威胁兑现,由于指控内容并非真有其事,这件事本身微不足道。
正:如果鲍威尔真的兑现了他的威胁,那么指控内容的真伪如何根本无关紧要。

P341:Powell faced others, including imminent libel action by a Harlem woman he had denounced on television as a "bag woman' for corrupt police.
误:他还面对其他的审判,包括即将开庭的、由一个哈莱姆女人提起的诽谤诉讼,事关他在电视上抨击警察腐败时,把这个女人称为“购物袋女人”。
正:此外他还面对着其他审判,其中有一起由哈莱姆区某女性提起的诽谤诉讼即将开庭,起诉的由头是他曾在电视上将这名女人称为腐败警察的“贿款代收人”。

P341:Moreover, Rustin knew that his personal liabilities were once again burdening not only King but possibly the cause itself. This was not a pleasant thought for him. King received the message with a stoic acknowledgment that bordered on approval.
误:此外,拉斯廷知道,他的个人性倾向不仅再次给金带来了负担,也可能给**事业本身惹出麻烦。对他来说,这不是一个令入愉快的想法。金收到拉斯廷一个消息,那是一个近乎同意公开表明性取向的信息。
正:此外拉斯廷也知道,他的个人性取向不仅再次给金拖了后腿,还可能给民权事业本身惹出麻烦。这个想法令他很不好受。金相当坚忍地接收了拉斯廷的消息,几乎就表示了同意。

P342:Kennedy was picking up delegates by the handful and was said to have nearly enough to win,
误:肯尼迪拾获了少量代表的支持,据说几乎已经足够赢得选战了
正:肯尼迪正在一个人接着一个人地争取各位党代表的支持,据说他的支持者人数几乎已经足够赢得初选了
  
P343:Each of the presidential candidates was invited to appear in person, or to send a message to the group.
误:每个总统候选人接到了邀请,他们或是亲自到会,或是发来信息。
正:各位总统候选人全都接到了亲自到会或者发来信息的邀请。

P343:The three student sit-in leaders who had been selected at the Raleigh conference back in April
误:去年4月的罗莱会议上选出了3名静坐学生领导人代表,
正:在4月份举行的雷利会议上当选的三名静坐运动学生领袖

P343:King also testified, then disappeared in the company of Clarence Jones and Michael Harrington,
误:金也做了证明,但随后便消失在克拉伦斯·琼斯和迈克尔·哈林顿的公司里。
正:金也上前作证,随后就被克拉伦斯.琼斯(Clarence Jones)与迈克尔.哈林顿(Michael Harrington)拉跑了。

P344:The motley line, numbering anywhere from a few dozen up to a few hundred at a time,
误:纠察队的组成团体五花八门,分别用几十到几百不等的数字编号,
正:纠察队的人员组成五花八门,少的时候也有几十个人,多的时候更是达到了几百个,

P344:...where Harrington found himself in long soulful dialogues on Hegel and Max Weber.
误:在那里,哈林顿发现自己和黑格尔、马克斯·韦伯进行了长时间的深情对话。
正:哈林顿与金热切讨论了黑格尔与马克斯.韦伯的思想。
分析:误译不觉得瘆得慌吗?

P345:At the Biltmore Hotel, Robert Kennedy stood on a chair to give one of his many briefings to his campaign workers.
误:在比特穆尔酒店,罗伯特.肯尼迪站在凳子上,把众多简报中的一份递给爱竞选工作人员。
正:在比特穆尔酒店,罗伯特.肯尼迪站在椅子上向竞选工作人员进行了众多选情简报当中的一场。

P345:Early the next day, Senator Kennedy decided to pay a surprise call on Lyndon Johnson to offer the nomination, which was not expected, so that he could take credit for having done so when Johnson refused. Kennedy did not quite offer the job; he merely took the idea a few inches outside his pocket and flashed it in front of Johnson, as he put it.
误:第二天一大早,参议员肯尼迪决定给林登·约翰逊一个惊喜,他带着给约翰逊的副总统提名信登门拜访。这个提名纯属意外,就算约翰逊拒绝,他也能在这件事上获益。肯尼迪没有直接行动,他只是把那份提名信放在外衣口袋里,但特意露出几英寸,并且放下衣服时让它在约翰逊面前闪了一下。
正:第二天一大早,肯尼迪参议员决定给林登.约翰逊来个意外袭击,打电话问问他是否愿意接受提名。事先谁也没想到肯尼迪打算玩这一手,因此就算约翰逊拒绝,肯尼迪也能因为主动做出姿态而受到好评。肯尼迪并没有直接了当地询问约翰逊是否有意与自己合作。用日后他自己的话来说,他只不过将提名建议藏在上衣口袋里特意露出几英寸,并且在约翰逊面前闪了一下而已。
分析:误译太老实了,看不出比喻。

P345:Robert Kennedy arrived on a diplomatic mission of the utmost delicacy, suggesting to Johnson that he might want to remove himself because of the ferocious opposition in the North.
误:罗伯特·肯尼迪带着极为微妙的外交使命赶来,他暗示约翰逊,由于北方的激烈反对,肯尼迪可能会将约翰逊从提名名单中删除。
正:这时罗伯特.肯尼迪带着极为微妙的外交使命登门拜访了约翰逊。他暗示道,由于北方党代表的激烈反对,他希望约翰逊主动将自己的名字从提名名单当中撤下来。

P347:Alabama prosecutors were dropping a second perjury charge against him.
误:亚拉巴马州的原告撤销了他的伪证罪第二被告的指控。
正:阿拉巴马州的检察官们撤销了针对他的第二次伪证罪起诉。

P348:"Nixon Says Rights Plank Must Be Made Stronger,' announced the lead headline in The New York Times, above a story quoting Nixon in favor of the sit-ins and against "balancing' his ticket with a Southerner.
误:《纽约时报》率先在头版头条上宣布:“尼克松说人权纲领必须强化。”这句援引自尼克松的话为静坐运动的人们所青睐,却让南方人对他的投票“踌躇不定”
正:《纽约时报》率先在头版头条上宣布:“尼克松表示人权纲领必须强化。”接下来的新闻宣称尼克松偏向静坐运动,并且不愿为了争取南方选票而采取“平衡的”竞选纲领。

P348:How could he run as a fiscally sound Republican……
误:他怎能运行一个经济良好的共和党政府?
正:他怎能一方面身为奉行稳健财政政策的共和党人参加竞选……

P349:He also felt obliged to straddle the gap between Eisenhower's pride and Kennedy's charges that "American prestige is at an all-time low,'
误:鉴于艾森豪威尔的自尊和肯尼迪的指控,他觉得有必要消除两者之间的隔阂,因为“美国的声望正处于历史低点”
正:此外他也觉得有必要同时照顾到艾森豪威尔的自尊与肯尼迪的“美国声望正处于历史低点”指控。

P349:Lodge was too liberal on civil rights and too genteel to be an effective campaigner, thought the President, who had lobbied for a rich Texan and for a general on the grounds that they had proven they could manage people and dollars in the millions.
误:他认为洛奇在民权问题上过于自由,在竞选活动中过于文绉绉而缺乏效率。总统要的是一个富饶的得克萨斯州,他需要这对竞选搭档给出一个普遍能接受的理由,那就是,他们能够证明自己能管理好数以百万计的人员和资金。
正:因为他觉得洛奇在民权问题上过于偏向自由派,个人作风又过于文质彬彬,因此很可能并不是一位足够高效的竞选人。总统曾经向尼克松推荐过一位得克萨斯州富翁与一位将军担任竞选搭档,因为他觉得这两人更有能力管理好庞大的竞选团队与数以百万计的竞选资金。

P351:Privately, some of the leaders of the Atlanta student movement went to King with a worry that was emblematic of the times. They feared that one of their supporters might be a Communist.
误:私下里,一些亚特兰大**的领袖对金有一种时代特征的担心。他们担心,他们的支持者之一可能是个共产党员。
正:有些亚特兰大**领袖私下里找到了金,向他表达了一项很有时代特征的担心:他们担心**的支持者之一可能是个共产党员。

P352:Though frail, bespectacled, and soft-spoken to the point of whispering, Moses carried about him the strong presence of an Eastern mystic
误:虽然身体虚弱,戴着眼镜,轻声细语几近耳语,但就是在这样的金身上,摩西却发现了东方神秘主义的强大存在。
正:虽然摩西身体虚弱,戴着眼镜,说起话来轻声细气几近耳语,但他身上却散发着东方神秘主义的强大气场。  
  
P356:the brief meeting closed on an artificial note of agreement.
误:简短的碰头会结束于一份手工拟定的协议书。
正:于是这次简短的碰头会就在刻意营造的和谐气氛当中结束了。

P356:Against these cold facts, King felt loyalties of principle and personal feeling for Rustin, which were only made worse by his awareness that Rustin, nearing fifty years of age, was counting on King for a regular job.
误:面对这些冰冷的事实,金既感觉到对原则的忠诚,又感觉到自己对拉斯廷的个人感情,但当他意识到年近50岁的拉斯廷希望他能提供一份安稳的工作时,所有的这些感觉都被大打折扣。
正:面对这些冰冷的事实,金一方面感到自己必须忠于原则,另一方面又觉得自己不能对不住拉斯廷。尤其是当他意识到拉斯廷已经年近五旬,指望在他手下谋求一份安稳工作的时候,他心里就更难受了。

P356:He resigned from the Committee to Defend Martin Luther King.
误:他在委员会辞职以保护马丁·路德·金
正:他随即辞去了自己在马丁.路德.金辩护委员会里的工作

P358:the support of his cause had been one of the prime reasons for the founding of In Friendship that same year, by Rustin, Ella Baker, and Stanley Levison
误:支持他事业的最主要的原因一直是友谊关系的建立,也就是在那一年,他和拉斯廷、艾拉,贝克和斯坦利,利维森成了朋友
正:事实上拉斯廷、艾拉.贝克以及斯坦利.利维森之所以在这一年成立友情会,主要原因就是为了给穆尔撑腰。

P358:but then I should have known from Miss Baker
误:不过以后,我应该通过贝克小姐进一步认识他。
正:不过我早就应该通过贝克小姐认识他了。

P359:He was there when Harold Tyler, chief of the Justice Department's Civil Rights Division, tracked him down by telephone.
误:司法部民权司主任哈罗德·泰勒一直通过电话来跟踪他的工作过程。
正:当他赶到加州之后,司法部民权司主任哈罗德.泰勒(Harold Tyler)通过电话找到了他。   

P359:It was a sign of the times that not a single politically connected Republican, nor any friend of Tyler's, expressed interest in the high-ranking position of first assistant in the Civil Rights Division.
误:这是一个时代的现象,不管是和共和党的单纯政治合作,还是泰勒的任何朋友,都对民权司第一助理这个高位不感兴趣。
正:有一个现象很能说明当时的时代特质:任何一名政坛人脉广泛的共和党员以及泰勒的所有朋友都对民权司第一助理这个高位不感兴趣。

P360:Only then, hypothetically, would the government come to the task of enforcing such court orders, and here the famed "jury trial' amendment of the 1957 act would work to the advantage of defendants who refused to obey them.
误:也只有这样,假设,回到著名的1957年“陪审团”修正案,它将使政府被强制执行法院命令,并将能够对拒绝执行命令的被告发挥作用。
正:在设想当中,只有打赢这三场官司之后,政府才能放开手脚强制执行法院命令,而《1957年民权法案》当中著名的“陪审团裁决”修正案却对拒绝执行命令的被告很有利。

P360:To Rogers, the test-case strategy was vulnerable to political attack as a "do nothing' policy on civil rights enforcement.
误:对罗杰斯而言,判例案件作为民权执法上的一个“无为”策略,很容易受到政治攻击。
正:对罗杰斯来说判例案件策略很容易受到政治攻击,因为攻击者尽管可以声称这种策略等同于民权落实方面的“无所作为”。

P361:This worked splendidly for the agents' usual work of tracking car thieves, bank robbers, Communists, and other outcasts, but the image made it wrenchingly difficult for the agents to take the side of the outcasts themselves.
误:这对于特工们跟踪偷车贼、银行劫匪和其他流浪汉这些平常的工作大有裨益,但扭曲的形象很难让特工们接受自己真实的另一面。
正:鉴于探员们的日常工作包括追捕偷车贼、银行劫匪、美共残党以及其他社会边缘人,这套作风的效果非常优秀。但是假如探员们不得不在调查当中加入社会边缘人的行列,那么这套作风就只能帮倒忙了。

P363:This presidential election, not the contest between Kennedy and Nixon, absorbed King's partisan energies in 1960
误:这次的总裁之争,不是肯尼迪与尼克松的竞争,而是金在1960年时合并党派力量的对决。
正:金在1960年的政治斗争精力几乎全都倾注在了大会主席之争上面,根本没有多余的心思再去掺和肯尼迪与尼克松之间的角逐。

P364:Finally, shifts in Convention politics
误:后来,她对大会的政治见解发生了转变
正:最终大会的政治立场发生了转变

P369:They downplayed the issue in the first of the four historic Kennedy-Nixon television debates on September 26.
误:他们低估了9月26日肯尼迪一尼克松历史性4轮电视辩论中第一场的问题。
正:在9月26日的第一场辩论当中,尼克松与肯尼迪不约而同地抑制住了讨论种族问题的音量。

P369:On the Kennedy campaign staff, the civil rights people kept a profile in keeping with their issue--low and tucked away.
误:民权人士对肯尼迪竞选工作人员的问题进行了低调和隐藏式处理。
正:为了确保民权议题在总统竞选当中不至于完全出局,在肯尼迪竞选团队当中工作的民权人士采取了低调隐蔽的行事风格。

P369:The Negro campaign workers might as well have been off in a minstrel show.
误:黑人竞选工作人员也已经在巡回演说中离开了。
正:就算找几个脸上涂满墨汁的白人演员硬充黑人来装点门面,对于这哥俩来说也没有区别。
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 楼主| 发表于 2017-9-29 17:23 | 显示全部楼层
第九章:

P380:The high quality of the food quickly seduced them out of plans for a prison fast.
误:本来,他们计划着赶快服完刑出狱,现在,这个计划在高品质的餐食的诱惑下已经不复存在
正:本来学生们还打算在入狱之后搞一场绝食,不过品质如此上乘的伙食很快就诱使他们放弃了原本的计划。
分析:fast在这里显然作名词。

P381:Confined by agreement to issues of foreign policy, the debate was an unrecognized milestone of American politics in that it featured the clandestine preoccupations that had been growing within the U.S. government since World War II.
误:受制于外交政策问题的协议,辩论成为美国政治上一个无法识别的里程碑,因为它突出了自“二战”以来生长在美网政府内部的隐秘成见。
正:辩论双方事先达成协议,本次辩论仅仅讨论外交政策问题,因此这一场辩论成为了美国政治上一块面目不清的里程碑,突出了自二战以来就在美国政府内部滋生的对于隐秘行事的热衷。
分析:preoccupation没有成见的意思。

P382:Although he worked in the Kennedy campaign, Harris Wofford responded to the surface realities like almost everyone else, and he found himself in the uncomfortable position of agreeing with Nixon.
误:虽然参与肯尼迪的竞选工作,但哈里斯·沃福德对表面现实的反应几乎和其他人一样,他发现自己很难赞同尼克松,因为那会让他不自在。
正:虽然哈里斯.沃福德是肯尼迪竞选团队的员工,但是他面对表面现实的反应几乎和其他人一样,不得不勉强赞同尼克松的观点。
   
P385:Daddy King outpreached Rockefeller that same day in Cleveland.
误:同一天,老金外出到克利夫兰宣讲洛克菲勒。
正:同一天金老爹来到了克利夫兰,他的宣讲劲头比起洛克菲勒更有过之。

P388:I have made requests of all the news agencies that in their stories they make it clear that this hearing did not take place in Atlanta, Georgia
误:我已经对所有的新闻机构提出了要求,要在他们的新闻中明确报道。这场听证会不会发生在亚特兰大市。
正:我已经对所有新闻机构提出了要求,要在他们的新闻中明确指出这场听证会的地点并不是亚特兰大市。
分析:注意时态。
   
P391:If they did not strangle the idea on sight, the aides, who liked to speculate about how contemplated moves might play in The New York Times, would object that Kennedy could not possibly do anything quiet in the King case, which was on that morning's front page.
误:即使他们当时不马上扼杀这个想法,那些喜欢猜测《纽约时报》会如何上演预期戏码的助手,也会对此不以为然——对于当天早晨头版刊登的金的新闻,他们认为平静的肯尼迪不可能做任何事情。
正:即使他们不会当场扼杀他的提议,那些喜欢猜测各种竞选手段在《纽约时报》上会遭到怎样报道的助手们也肯定会发表不以为然的见解。金的案件已经登上了当天早晨的报纸头版,他们都认为肯尼迪不可能以任何方式悄无声息地介入金的案件。

P393:What Salinger and his colleagues feared was that Wofford was just enough of a Kennedy man to apply these hard-headed tactics to a softheaded issue.
误:此刻,塞林格和他的同事担心的是,沃福德刚好借他是肯尼迪的人为由,把这些精明的策略运用到一个愚蠢的问题上。
正:此刻塞林格和他的同事担心的是,沃福德也像肯尼迪团队的其他人一样大胆,可是却把冷静算计的策略运用在了感情用事的问题上。

P400:His decision flung Wofford and Martin pell-mell into the production of a logistical miracle.
误:施赖弗的决定猛地把沃福德和马丁扔到后勤见证奇迹去了。
正:在施莱弗那里吃了定心丸之后,沃福德与马丁立刻全力以赴地搞出了一场物流奇迹。

P401:Defense lawyers had forbidden King to be in the courtroom, or even in Montgomery, fearing that his presence would serve only to inflame the jurors against the defense, but King was very much there in absentia.
误:辩护律师已经禁止金出席法庭,甚至不准他在蒙哥马利出现,他们担心金的出现只会加剧陪审员的对抗,而金也的确没有到场。
正:辩护律师禁止金出席法庭,甚至不准他在蒙哥马利出现。他们担心金的出现只会加剧陪审员对于辩方的抵触与反感。金本人确实没有出现在庭审现场,但是控辩双方的所有人都能感到他的存在。
分析:总是差一口气,原文表达不到位。

P403:but even the secret-keepers did not know all the secrets that made their logistical miracle possible.
误:但就算是保密者也不知道所有这些后勤秘密可能创造的奇迹。
正:但就算是保密者本人也不知道让这场物流奇迹成为可能的所有秘密。

P403:The Kennedy "dummy committee' was located in Philadelphia, site of the riotous church schism in September. Its co-chairman was one of the preachers J. H. Jackson had expelled from the Convention and sent off to jail three years earlier,
误:肯尼迪的“虚拟委员会”位于费城——教会9月份在那里闹得四分五裂。加德纳.泰勒派的联合主席在3年前被J.H.杰克逊在全国大会上开除并送进监狱。
正:肯尼迪的“障眼委员会”位于费城——之前9月份全国浸信会大会正是在这里闹得四分五裂。委员会的联合主席正是三年前被J.H.杰克逊驱逐出全国浸信会大会并且送进监狱的布道人之一。
分析:主语都错了。

P404:Dobbs said he could not understand how any self-respecting Negro could vote Democratic in view of the state party's refusal to allow a single Negro to become a member, "not even Mr. Walden or M. L. King.'
误:多布斯说他不能理解的是,虽然执政党拒绝让“即使是沃尔顿先生或马丁·路德·金”这样的黑人成为政府成员,但怎么能因为这个原因就把票投给民主党呢?任何自重的黑人都不该这样。
正:多布斯说他不能理解为什么任何一位自重的黑人居然打算投票支持民主党。别忘了在民主党执政的各州,任何黑人都不得成为政府成员,“即使是沃尔顿先生或马丁.路德.金这样的人都不例外。”
分析:联系前文就知道不对。

P407:This revelation appeared to clash with both the Machiavellian and the humanitarian interpretations of the Kennedy calls.It made sense only if Vandiver, shrinking from his promise to get King out of Reidsville, had talked Robert Kennedy into assuming the political risk.
误:这个揭露似乎不符合权谋政治家以及人道主义者对肯尼迪电话的解释,因为范迪弗畏缩于把金弄出里兹维尔的承诺,除非他说服了罗伯特,肯尼迪承担政治风险,那才讲得通。
正:无论是从权谋政治还是从人道主义的角度来解释他这通电话似乎都与这种说法相抵触,除非范迪瓦不敢兑现将金弄出里兹维尔的承诺,而是说服了罗伯特.肯尼迪承担政治风险。
   
P408:A spectacular success, the book sold more than four million copies and caused fundamental changes in campaign reporting, if not in the conception of the American presidency itself.
误:这本书销量超过400万册,引起了竞选报道的根本性改变,要不是借用美国总统的概念本身,它不可能是一个巨大的成功。
正:本书销量将会超过四百万册。如果说这本书没能改变人们对于美国总统这一概念的理解,那么至少也导致了今后总统竞选新闻报道的根本性变革。

P408:A final, rhapsodic description of the King calls slipped all bounds of fact: "Decisions now not only followed crisply and unfalteringly in sequence, but where decision pointed, the organization followed--and the various parts of the organization had all passed through their break-in period, had been road-tested, and purred in the comforting hum of human machinery intermeshing with the same complete efficiency that one remembers of the American bomber crews flying out of Tinian and Saipan.'
误:最后,关于他对致电举动做了一番热情洋溢的描述,把所有事实展露无遗:“现在,决策不仅要顺次简洁而坚决地沿袭,而且组织要跟进决策的指引,组织的各个部分都要通过自己的磨合期,都要参加道路测试,要有完全相同的啮合效率,那种机器般啮合的嗡嗡声,让人宽慰地想到美国轰炸机机组人员飞出爱宁岛和塞班岛的情形。”
正:怀特对于肯尼迪-金通电的欢快总结干脆彻底摆脱了一切事实的约束:“这套决策不仅得到了顺次简洁而又坚决彻底的贯彻,而且决策指到哪里,肯尼迪集团就打到了哪里——这个集团宛如一台由人类组成的机器,各个组成部分早已通过了磨合期,经受了实地测试,部件之间的完美啮合发出了悦耳的嗡嗡声。至于集团的办事效力则无懈可击,让人宽慰地回忆起了驶离提尼安岛与塞班岛的美国轰炸机机组。”

P409:Before, King had been a curiosity to most of the larger world--unsettling and primeval in meaning, perhaps, but as remote as the backseats of buses or the other side of town.
误:以前,金一直对大多数的大世界有一种好奇,因为在那些世界里有着令人不安而原始的意义。但也许,世界之大,在意义上其实只是从公交车最后一排到第一排的距离,又或者只是城市两端的距离。
正:对于更广大世界当中的大多数人来说,这个名字从前确实惹人好奇,或许还具有悸动且原始的意义,但却像公交车的最后一排或者城市的另一边那样遥远。
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 楼主| 发表于 2017-10-18 10:58 | 显示全部楼层
第十章

P411:King left the studio believing he had failed to parry the full range of Kilpatrick's explicit and implicit attacks.
误:金之所以从直播间离席,相信是因为无法招架基尔帕特里克或明或暗的全面攻击。
正:金离开直播间的时候十分丧气,觉得自己没能招架基尔帕特里克的全套明枪暗箭。
分析:逻辑不清。

P414:to some degree the new President was using his political gifts to make his summons to freedom intoxicating to both Negroes and white Southern Democrats.
误:在一定程度上,这位新总统正用他的政治礼物呼唤自由,使黑人和南部的白人民主党员欢呼雀跃。
正:在一定程度上,这位新总统正在利用他的政治天赋同时向黑人与南方白人民主党员示好,希望这一曲自由颂歌能让两个团体都听得如痴如醉。
分析:gift译作天赋显然更合理。

P416:Although the United Nations already had debated and voted on formal Cuban charges that an American-sponsored invasion was imminent, war preparations remained a non-subject in public simply because the government treated them as such.
误:尽管古巴指控由美国资助的入侵迫在眉睫,而且联合国已经对此进行了讨论和投票,由于政府未有战争的准备,这仍不是公众的话题。
正:尽管古巴一直公开声称由美国资助的入侵迫在眉睫,而且联合国已经针对古巴的指控进行了讨论和投票,但是美国政府却始终不肯透露口风,所以美国公众也根本不知道自己的政府正在备战。

P416:In King's world, scattered crusaders were as intent upon gaining recognition for their freedom plans as Kennedy was determined to conceal his.
误:在金的世界里,各处的改革者意图获取对他们自由计划的认同,而肯尼迪却决意隐瞒。
正:就好像肯尼迪决心向公众隐瞒自己的军事计划一样,在金的世界里,散布全国的民权活动家们同样决心让他们的自由计划赢得公众的认同。

P418:Doar was only slightly less a hero to the inhabitants.
误:多尔在居民眼中几乎和英雄差不多。
正:多尔在自由村居民眼中的英雄地位只不过比杰克逊稍逊一筹而已。

P419:In no other legal field was ignorance a qualification, but the race issue was so controversial that any history of personal interest was tantamount to a political statement.
误:人们忽略不处于其他的法律领域就是一种资格,但是种族问题是如此的具争议,之前任何的个人兴趣记录都会成为一份政治声明。
正:在任何其他法律领域,两眼一抹黑都算不上从业资质。但是种族问题的争议性如此之强,以至于任何一位民权司一把手的候选人只要曾经流露过对于这个问题的兴趣,就无异于做出了选边站的政治声明,因此两眼一抹黑反而成了优势。
分析:又是一句译者自己都看不懂的译文

P419:Wofford himself half agreed, and he put Marshall's name on the recommendation list in spite of his antipathy for White.
误:沃福德自己也有一半同意,尽管他反感白人,他仍将马歇尔的名字放在引荐的名单上。
正:沃福德本人也勉强同意了怀特的考量。尽管他很反感怀特,但是依然将马歇尔的名字添加进了推荐名单。
分析:低级错误。

P419:Like Kennedy, Marshall was slight of build, wispish and reedy of voice, though much less rumpled and windblown than the thirty-five-year-old Attorney General.
误:像肯尼迪一样,马歇尔的说话声线有点呢喃,尽管与53岁的司法部部长相比,他没有那么凌乱。
正:就像罗伯特一样,马歇尔的身材也有些瘦削,说话的声线有点呢喃,尽管他的发型要比时年三十五岁的司法部部长整齐得多。
分析:低级错误。

P419:To him, Marshall was an elite lawyer too smart to make mistakes, too self-possessed to blunder compulsively into controversy, too honest to claim he had all the answers.
误:在他看来,马歇尔是一个绝顶聪明不易犯错的精英律师,对于重大错误能保持镇静,不会造成争议,而且非常诚实地声称他知道所有的答案。
正:在他看来,马歇尔是一个绝顶聪明不易犯错的精英律师,平时总能保持镇静,不会出于冲动而一头冲进争议事务当中,而且还会非常诚实地承认自己并不知道所有问题的答案。

P420:King did the same--quietly--at scores of church stops on his speaking schedule.
误:当许多教会停止了他的演讲安排后,金也在静静地做着同样的事情。
正:忙着巡回演讲的金也在途经的好几家教堂里不动声色地号召信众们支持泰勒。

P427:No such ambiguity shielded the ten Negro signatories,
误:这样模棱两可的表述并没有避开签署协议的10名黑人,   
正:相比之下,签署协议的十名黑人代表的表态则全无模棱两可之处,   

P434:To Robert Kennedy, his father's assessment of Hoover's worth meant something, and it was a measure of Hoover's devotion to the Bureau that he had turned the offer down.
误:在罗伯特·肯尼迪看来,他父亲对胡佛价值的评价意味着一些东西,而且这也是对胡佛为调查局所做贡献的一个衡量——尽管他拒绝提供。
正:在罗伯特看来,父亲对于胡佛的笼络意味着此人必有不凡之处。另外胡佛当年拒绝了这份高薪美差,这也从侧面说明了他多么看重联邦调查局的事业。

P439:and he did not even acknowledge his chance meeting with President Kennedy until after the assassination in Dallas.
误:直至在达拉斯的刺杀事件后,他甚至没有承认有与肯尼迪总统会面的机会。
正:甚至直到肯尼迪总统在达拉斯遇刺身亡之后他都没有向外人提起过自己与总统的偶遇。

P440:Heilbron argued that Southerners had never been approached correctly, by people who knew their language and habits.
误:他辩解说,那些知道南方人的语言和习惯的人从未正确地对待过南方人。
正:根据他的说法,还从来没有了解南方人的语言与习惯的人以正确的方式接触过南方人。
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 楼主| 发表于 2017-11-1 10:59 | 显示全部楼层
第十一章

P446:With his hands trembling slightly, as was his fate at public events,
误:肯尼迪双手微微颤抖,而他在公众事件中的前途也有风雨飘摇的迹象。
正:登上讲台的罗伯特双手微微颤抖——他在公共场合历来如此

P447:The Rock Hill terminal was more of a "hangout' than most, filled with pinball machines played by white youths of a type that had become the scourge of the sit-in movement.
误:罗克希尔的位置比大多数终点更为“低级”,弹球游戏机随处可见,一群白人青年正在乐此不疲地玩着——他们正是之前静坐运动的根源。
正:与大多数车站相比,罗克希尔车站更像是当地人的消遣场所,弹球游戏机随处可见,一群白人青年正在玩得乐此不疲——此类白人青年正是暴力袭击静坐运动的主力。

P448:Local contacts informed the second group of the attack as they drove them to an evening mass meeting at Friendship Junior College, where the students of the Rock Hill jail-in were enrolled.
误:当地联系人带他们驱车前往接收罗克希尔“入狱”行动学生的友谊专科学校
正:当地联系人带他们驱车前往了友谊会专科学校的弥撒大会现场,罗克希尔“入狱”运动的学生都在这里上学。

P451:We have received word that a bus has been burned to the ground and passengers are being carried to the hospital by the carloads
误:我们得到消息,有辆车被烧毁了,乘客们都得坐货车到医院去,
正:我们得到消息,前面有辆车被烧毁了,乘客们都得一车一车地运到医院去

P452Rev. John Rutland, Bull Connor's Methodist pastor, was down at city hall that morning, pleading with Connor not to let them beat up the kids on the buses.
误:约翰·路特兰牧师是布尔·康纳的卫理公会牧师,那天早上,他和康纳一起在市政大厅请求不要让他们殴打公交车上的孩子们。
正:伯明翰警务专员公牛康纳是卫理会信徒,他的牧师名叫约翰.路特兰(John Rutland)。星期天一大早,路特兰牧师专程赶到了市政大厅,请求康纳不要听任三K党徒殴打长途车上的孩子们。

P453:Rowe sounded an alarm to scores of Klansmen posted nearby
误:洛维听到附近响起了向周围几十个三K党传递消息的信号
正:于是洛维向周围几十个三K党徒传递了消息,

P457:Noting that there had been some forty days and forty nights of demonstrations since February, Bevel was preaching happily about the Great Flood, the temptations of Jesus, and other famous "forty stories' from the Bible
误:贝弗尔提到连续进行了40个昼夜的游行,高兴地通过《圣经》中描述的大洪水、耶稣的诱惑以及著名的“40个故事”布道。
正:贝弗尔注意到这次纠察运动自从2月份开始以来不多不少正好进行了四十个昼夜。他忍不住兴高采烈地将这一巧合与《圣经》中各种历时四十昼夜的事件进行了对比,例如大洪水与耶稣的荒野试炼。

P458:In Washington, seeing the photograph of the burning Greyhound on the front page of his morning Post, James Farmer called his CORE staff in New York and instructed them to superimpose that shot over one of the Statue of Liberty to form a new emblem for the Freedom Ride.
误:在华盛顿,詹姆斯.法默早上看到《华盛顿邮报》上刊登了灰狗公交车燃烧的照片后,他召集了纽约种族平等大会的员工,指示他们在自由女神像下再次集会,为自由乘车运动再颁发一枚徽章。
正:在华盛顿,詹姆斯.法默看到《华盛顿邮报》上刊登了灰狗长途车燃烧的照片。他随即指示自己手下的平等大会员工将这张照片与自由女神造型叠加在一起,为自由乘车运动设计一款全新的徽章。

P463:He said that he would not appoint Diane Nash, because she was too valuable as the focal person in Nashville.
误:贝弗尔说自已不会指定戴安·纳什,因为她对纳什维尔备受关注的人们来说相当霞要。
正:贝弗尔还明确表示自已不会指定黛安.纳什,因为她是个焦点人物,对于纳什维尔极其重要。

P467:To face Khrushchev against the backdrop of racial strife within the bosom of the free world, while commanding troops against his own people, would open Kennedy to ridicule from the Soviet leader.
误:自由主义之花盛开的国度中,种族冲突的背景下,与赫鲁晓夫见面的同时还要指挥军队对抗自己国家的人民,这会让肯尼迪成为苏联领导人公开的笑柄。
正:自由世界的核心地区居然成为了种族冲突的场地,身为总统的他居然要指挥军队对抗本国国民,苏联领导人非得将他嘲笑得无地自容不可。
分析:误译想必把bosom看成blossom了。

P472:They were stealing a march on segregation.
误:他们带领了种族隔离方面的游行。
正:这一次他们终于在反种族隔离斗争当中取得了先发优势。

P474:One of the more devout students could not help noting with satisfaction that fear seemed to deepen the reverence of a few skeptics who had been perfunctory about earlier religious devotionals.
误:学生们更为虔诚,其中一个还情不自禁地说恐惧似乎加深了几个怀疑主义者的敬畏感,那几个持怀疑态度的人之前对宗教事务总是敷衍,现在,这位学生感到非常满意。
正:有一个宗教信仰比较虔诚的学生还情不自禁地注意到,同学当中有几个怀疑主义者此前对待祈祷的态度有些敷衍了事,如今身陷重围的恐惧显然激发了他们的崇敬心态,这一点令他感到很满意。
分析:误译就连断句都不会

P478:In the interim, John Lewis and the other Nashville students had endured six days and nights on a roller coaster between joy and fear, exhilaration and boredom--largely uninterrupted by sleep
误:其间,约翰·刘易斯和其他来自纳什维尔的学生们在过山车式的喜悦与恐惧、兴奋与无聊中度过了六天六夜。大部分时间中,他们都在睡觉
正:其间约翰.刘易斯与其他来自纳什维尔的学生们在过山车一般的喜悦、恐惧、兴奋与无聊当中度过了六天六夜,基本上没有睡觉。

P479:Lewis surveyed a terminal area that was familiar to him from scores of bus rides home to nearby Troy, where he had preached to the chickens.
误:刘易斯观察了一下车站区域,他很熟悉这里,之前他曾多次搭车从这里回到附近的特洛伊,而也正是在这里,他曾给新参加运动的人布道。
正:刘易斯观察了一下车站区域,他很熟悉这里,之前他曾多次搭车从这个车站回到附近的特洛伊,也就是小时候他曾经在鸡舍里布道的家乡。
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 楼主| 发表于 2017-11-1 10:59 | 显示全部楼层
第十二章

P487:Floyd Mann, appearing later at his hospital room, broke down weeping in sympathy and frustration.
误:弗洛伊德.曼恩稍后出现在了他的病房里,打断了怜悯而沮丧的哭声。
正:弗洛伊德.曼恩稍后来到病房里探望他,同情心与无能为力的挫败感致使他在伤员面前痛哭了出来。

P489:By going out of channels to express doubts about the wisdom of using the marshals in Alabama, White signaled a warning that the younger Kennedy might be out of his depth.
误:通过在各种渠道散播在亚拉巴马周启用法警是否为明智之举的质疑,怀特发出了一个警告,即小肯尼迪可能能力不济。
正:怀特并不确定向阿拉巴马州派遣法警是否明智,不过他却没有选择职分之内的信息渠道来表达自己的疑虑。这种做法无疑是他向上司发出的无声警告:小肯尼迪这次惹上了自己应付不来的麻烦。

P489:but this time students were involved as heroes, victims of mobs, and the governor and even the President were arguing about them in the newspapers.
误:但这一次,学生们像英雄一样参与其中,暴徒的受害者、州长,甚至还有总统都在报纸上对他们争论不休。
正:但这一次学生们也以英雄人物与暴徒受害者的身份参与了进来,州长甚至总统都在报纸上反复争论他们的行为是对是错。

P495:McShane, a puckish ex-cop who had been rewarded with his present job for campaign work as John Kennedy's bodyguard and chauffeur,
误:这位老兄以前是个不爱受拘束的警员,在干起现在这份工作后,曾因在约翰.肯尼迪竞选期间为其驾车护航而受到嘉奖。
正:麦克肖恩是个性情火爆的前任警察,他在竞选期间一直担任肯尼迪的保镖与司机,肯尼迪当选之后则将他提拔到目前的职位上以示奖励。

P497:His only friendly communications with a state official were with Floyd Mann, who was nearly crushed by conflicting duties.
误:唯一一位与他进行了友好交谈的州政府官员就是弗洛伊德.曼恩,结果后者还几乎因为双方相互冲突的职责而崩溃。
正:唯一一位愿意与他友好交谈的州政府官员就是几乎要被相互矛盾的职责活活压垮的弗洛伊德.曼恩。

P500:Kennedy--weary of being asked to do more, and sensitive about having deferred instantly to Patterson in spite of the governor's record of manifest contempt for the rights of the Freedom Riders--lost his patience.
误:肯尼迪恼羞成怒——他厌倦了被要求采取更多行动,并对立即屈从于帕特森却无视周正对那些自由乘车者权利的明显蔑视而感到生气。
正:这番话气得罗伯特也抛开了矜持。他已经受够了叫他采取进一步行动的请求与督促,而且金将他与帕特森相提并论的言辞也严重伤害了他的感情,毕竟州长一直在公然蔑视自由乘车者的权利,而他却始终都站在自由乘车者一边。

P502:Governor Patterson, at a triumphant day-after news conference, held up stacks of telegrams running 75-to-1 in favor of his stand against both federal intervention and the Freedom Riders.
误:帕特森州长在第二天一场得意扬扬的新闻发布会上,拿着一堆电报展示了对于他反对联邦干预和反对自由乘车者的立场有75票赞成和l票反对意见。
正:帕特森州长在第二天举行了一场得意扬扬的新闻发布会,手里挥舞着一叠电报,其中有七十五封电报拥护他反对联邦干预以及反对自由乘车者的立场,只有一封电报表示反对。

P504:Diane Nash, once Ella Baker had coached some of the awe out of her, asked King point-blank to go with them.
误:戴安。纳什——这位由于艾拉.贝克的说教而对金有一些敬畏的人——直截了当地要金跟他们一起去。
正:黛安.纳什此前在艾拉.贝克的教导之下多多少少打消了一点对于金的敬畏之心,因此直截了当地要求金跟他们一起去。

P504:In a final, tortured retreat, he said, "I think I should choose the time and place of my Golgotha.' Some of the students recoiled from this naked identification with Christ himself, rather than with Christian mortals.
误:最后,他抑住压力的折磨说:“我想我可以自己选择受难地的时间和地点。”一些学生退缩了,因为他们不想让自己成为耶稣,而只想当肉体凡胎的基督徒。
正:最后不堪折磨的金只得狼狈撤退:“我想应当由我自己来选择我的髑髅地究竟位于何时何地。”这句话惊得好些学生倒吸了一口凉气,因为金赤裸裸地将自己比作了耶稣而不仅只是一位肉体凡胎的基督徒。

P509:The policemen dropped off at the city limits to leave the bus in the midst of an extraordinary procession numbering some forty-two vehicles--mostly highway patrol cars, their sirens wailing, with several dozen more reporters bringing up the rear.
误:这队警察在城市边界处一一散去,让这辆长途汽车行驶在一列奇怪的,编号大约是42的车辆中——大部分是警笛大作的高速公路巡逻车,还有十多辆采访车跟在后头。
正:这队警察在城市边界处一一散去,让长途车加入了一支大约由四十二辆汽车组成的车队——其中大部分是警笛呼啸的高速公路巡逻车,后面跟着十多辆采访车。

P511:The crowd at Meridian was so angry-looking and the police so uncooperative that Kennedy ordered the convoy to bypass the city altogether.
误:默里迪恩市的人群看上去十分愤怒,而警察对肯尼迪下达的让车队完全避开这个城市的命令极不配合。
正:默里迪恩市的人群看上去十分愤怒,当地警察的态度也极不配合,于是罗伯特下令让车队完全避开这个城市。

P515:The Attorney General, summarized the Post, "does not feel that the Department of Justice can, at these times, side with one group or the other in disputes over constitutional rights.'
误:总检察长向《华盛顿邮报》总结道:“在这些时候,不认为司法部可以与一个对宪法规定的权利有质疑的团体或其他人站在一起。
正:最后他还向《华盛顿邮报》总结道,自己“觉得司法部眼下并不应当在涉及宪法权利的争议当中支持任何特定群体。”

P518:Whenever the zeal died out, he predicted, the movement would be left with no political protection, and to Jenkins all such protections were grounded in the vote.
误:他预言无论这股热忱何时消亡,**将再无政治保障;而且对詹金斯来说,所有这些保障都是在为选票服务。
正:在他看来,待到宗教热情无可避免地衰落下去那一天,**必将失去一切政治保护,而且一切政治保护的根本都在于选票。

P520:Roy Wilkins had to be convinced that the NAACP would not appear to be abandoning its banner of school desegregation.
误:罗伊.威尔金斯也曾相信全国有色人种协进会似乎不会抛弃种族融合的旗帜。
正:他们还必须说服罗伊.威尔金斯确信外界并不会误以为协进会抛弃了促进种族融合的旗帜。

P527:while their confederates were negotiating with the emperors themselves for full citizenship rights, hoping to establish their outlandish new faith as the official doctrine of the state.
误:而他们的同盟却在与统治者协商,争取完全公民权,希望如国家官方声明一般,制定出别具一格的新信仰。
正:而他们的同党们却在与统治者密切协商,不仅希望获取完全公民权,还希望官方能够将他们的怪异信仰奉为国家正统教条。

P528:and it was remarkable in a sense that the affinity between them was not more pronounced.
误:但除了上面所做的事,他并没有对两者的亲密关系大肆声张,这一点尤为难得。
正:真正值得注意的是这两人之间的密切关系居然在当时并没有引来更强烈的关注。
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 楼主| 发表于 2017-11-1 11:00 | 显示全部楼层
第十三章

P531:Although Bryant worked as a laborer, operating a loading crane for the Illinois Central, his independent stature rose above the teachers and preachers and the few other local Negroes from the traditional leadership positions.
误:尽管布莱恩特是位伊利诺伊中央填装起重机厂的工人,但从传统领导地位来说,他的独立已经超越了教师、牧师和为数不多的几位当地黑人。
正:尽管布莱恩特的正式工作是在伊利诺伊中央车站操作填装起重机,但是他的独立地位却已经超越了教师、牧师以及为数不多的几名位居传统领导地位的当地黑人。

P532:Moses could not bring himself to tell them that it was too dangerous, or that it was tactically unwise for him to divert attention from McComb.
误:摩西鼓足勇气告诉农民们那样做很危险,或者说从战术上讲,把注意力转移到麦库姆之外的其他地方并不明智。
正:摩西实在不忍心告诉这些农民们这样做很危险,或者从战术上来说把注意力转移到麦库姆之外并不明智。

P532:He had been a leader of the county NAACP chapter until the sheriff had confiscated the membership rolls two years earlier.
误:他本人曾是全国有色人种协进会阿米特县分会的会长,直到警长两年前取消了他的会籍。
正:他本人曾是协进会阿米特县分会的会长,直到当地警长在两年前没收了会员名册为止。

P533:In McComb, Moses alone was placed under arrest. The Pike County attorney rushed down from Magnolia that same evening. At first he proposed booking Moses for the crime of interfering with an officer in the act of making an arrest, but he changed his mind upon reflecting that Moses was the only one who had been arrested. He substituted the vaguer charge of interfering with an officer in the discharge of his duties. Then he notified the local justice of the peace and asked Moses if he was prepared to stand trial. Moses requested the proverbial one phone call.   
误:到了麦库姆,只有摩西一个人被捕。当天晚上,派克县的律师慌忙从马格诺和亚赶来。开始,律师以为摩西被捕的原因是扰乱治安,但后来,他不这么认为了,因为他想到了被捕的只有摩西一个人。律师在履行自己职责的过程中发现  并不是干扰治安的问题,就叫来了一位治安法官,问摩西是否做好了上法庭的准备:摩西要求打个电话,这是众昕周知的行为:
正:到了麦库姆,只有摩西一个人遭到逮捕。当天晚上派克县的控方律师急急忙忙地从马格诺利亚赶了过来。他原本打算用来起诉摩西的罪名是妨碍执法人员完成逮捕,不过后来他意识到这次被捕的只有摩西一个人,于是转而采用了妨碍执法这一较为模糊的罪名。然后他叫来了一位治安官,并且询问摩西是否做好了出庭的准备。摩西要求按照惯例打个电话。
分析:没搞清attorney是哪一边的律师,所以整段话都翻译反了。

P536:Dawson was solid, they agreed, but Preacher Knox was flighty, voluble, and sometimes daft--given to random enthusiasms and endorsements of all opinions.
误:他们两个人一致认为道森很坚定,但从诺克斯牧师三分钟热度的热情和很多人的背书判断,他有些反复无常,不坚定,还有些愚蠢。
正:两人一致认为道森是个坚定可靠的人,但诺克斯牧师却有些缺乏定性,言过其实,有时候脑子还不太好使——因为在课堂上不管是谁提出怎样的观点他都会热烈拥护。

P538:Moses, Dawson, and Preacher Knox finished testifying for the prosecution, they found more than a hundred white men in a surly mood, inflamed partly by a simultaneous affront on the other side of the courthouse.
误:摩西、道森和诺克斯牧师做证之后,发现1 00多个黑人正虎视眈眈,在一定程度上被法庭另一端的冒犯点燃了。
正:摩西、道森和诺克斯牧师做证之后,发现一百多个白人正在虎视眈眈地瞪着他们。不过这些白人的怒火并非仅仅针对他们三个,因为此时政府大楼的另一面还有另一批不知天高地厚的黑人正在搞事。
分析:对原文的理解浅薄得令人难忍

P540:He was snared in the same trap that had plagued his larger ambitions in the segregated South since his "Give Us the Ballot' speech of 1957:
误:金咆哮着,同样的圈套自1957年他在分裂的南方发表了《给我们选举权》之后就一直限制他更大的野心:
正:自从1957年他发表了《给我们选票》演讲之后就一直想在种族隔离的南方各州施展更大抱负,当时困住他的陷阱如今再次发动,牢牢束缚了他的手脚。


P540:King's heart was with Taylor, and for the rest of his life he would mourn the failure to acquire this institutional base for the civil rights movement
误:金的心是和泰勒站在一起的,他的余生都将哀悼未能成功获得民权运动的制度基础
正:金的心和泰勒站在一起,他在余生当中一直都因为自己未能让全国浸信会大会成为民权运动的体制基础而懊丧不已。

P544:When Holmes called for the delegates to be qualified for voting, Jackson delegates from the entire nation stood up to be counted with those from the first state called, which was Alabama, a Taylor stronghold because of King and Shuttlesworth. Jackson, by such obfuscatory tactics, forced Holmes to qualify the delegates one by one instead of state by state, in a laborious tally that went on into the night.
误:赫尔姆斯召集有权选举的代表时,全国各地的杰克逊一方的代表都被算作亚拉巴马州的——第一个被叫到的州——那里也因金和夏特沃斯而成了泰勒的大本营。这一做法让杰克逊十分不解,于是他便强迫赫尔姆斯将按州计票改为按人数计票,于是庞大的计票工程把这件事拖到了晚上。
正:他按照各州顺序进行分批审查,首先接受审核的代表全都来自阿拉巴马州——由于金与夏特沃斯这两位强力桩脚的存在,人们普遍认为这个州是泰勒派的大本营——可是全国各地的杰克逊派代表也跟着全都站了起来。这是杰克逊采用的乱花迷眼之计,旨在迫赫尔姆斯放弃按州审查代表资格的做法,改为按人头逐次审查。这样一来审查工作的工作量急剧增加,一直拖到当天晚上才完成。
分析:不知所云,自误误人

P548:Or possibly they were angry because Lee had once arrived late for a registration class and come upon a group of whites taking down the license numbers of cars parked outside the church.
误:或许是因为李有一次上课迟到时,遇到了一群拆卸教堂外汽车车牌的白人
正:又或许是因为李有一次上课迟到,看见一群白人正在上课的教堂门外记录车牌号码。

P551:Often they converted the school system into an economic fiefdom as well--personally collecting the ticket receipts at school sporting events, and other emoluments--under franchise from the white school boards, on the condition that they stifle racial agitation in the schools.
误:通常,他们会把学校系统变成经济的封地——通过收取学校活动的入场费中饱私囊,此外,只要他们能扼杀学校的种族激进情绪,也会收到白入学校董事会的酬金。
正:通常情况下,只要他们能够扼杀学校里的种族激进情绪,就可以在白人校董事会的准许之下把学校系统变成自利自肥的经济封地——在学校里捞钱的门路很多,比方说学校体育赛事的门票收入就很可以揣进校长的自家腰包。

P553:When Jones recovered from this introduction to the mighty federal government, he counted it as a significant moment in his political and racial education to realize that its boldest representative was almost as apprehensive about Klan surveillance as he was.
误:听琼斯向无所不能的联邦政府讲完后,多尔便认定这是自己政治生涯和种族教育中最重要的时刻,它最重大的意义就如同他对三K党监视的担心一样。
正:琼斯以前从没亲自接触过无所不能的联邦政府,日后他表示与多尔的初次见面是自己的政治与种族教育当中的最重要时刻,因为他在这一刻才意识到联邦政府的全权代表就像他本人一样忌惮三K党的监视与刺探。
分析:理解能力低下。

P554:As events turned out, direct action never did rise to the supreme test in Mississippi,
误:事实证明,在密西西比,直接行动从没有对最难的测试做出反应
正:事实证明,直接行动并不足以应付密西西比州的最严苛考验。

P559:Returning from Atlanta with a carload of his Mississippi veterans, Moses quickly established that SNCC had not yet snuck from McComb.
误:摩西从亚特兰大带着一车密西西比州的退伍军人回来了,他一下就明白了,麦库姆的学生非暴力统筹委员会并没有偃旗息鼓。
正:摩西从亚特兰大招揽了一车非暴力资深成员,并且带领他们回到了密西西比。刚刚赶回来他就意识到非学委在麦库姆还需要继续躲藏一段时间。

P559:There was a nearly continuous danger of violence--both between the opposing Negro factions and from whites hostile to the entire dispute.
误:要抗争的黑人和对整个争端都怀有敌意的白人剑拔弩张,暴力事件随时可能发生。
正:暴力冲突随时可能爆发——不仅只有敌视整场争端的白人可能诉诸暴力,而且相互对立的黑人派系之间也很可能擦枪走火
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发表于 2017-11-1 11:35 | 显示全部楼层
P49:There he visited biblical sites in Jerusalem, Bethlehem, and elsewhere……
误:在那里他游览了《圣经》中提到的耶路撒冷的一些著名地点,比如耶稣诞生地伯利恒……
正:在这里他寻访了耶路撒冷、伯利恒以及其他多处圣经故址……
分析:耶路撒冷与伯利恒是两个相互独立的城市,不是上下级关系。



这里你自己的理解也稍微不准确,我认为准确的翻译应该是:"在那里他寻访了位于耶路撒冷、伯利恒及其他地方的圣经故址。"

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 楼主| 发表于 2017-11-4 07:21 | 显示全部楼层
防空识别区 发表于 2017-11-1 11:35
这里你自己的理解也稍微不准确,我认为准确的翻译应该是:"在那里他寻访了位于耶路撒冷、伯利恒及其他地 ...

这样确实更贴切一些
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发表于 2017-11-16 13:58 | 显示全部楼层
有心了,支持
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发表于 2017-11-18 17:31 | 显示全部楼层
yogomove 发表于 2017-5-1 16:07
好厉害,一本讲马丁路德金的书,圣经引文自行翻译

这70本不是问题,只要译者像冯象那样下过苦功的话
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 楼主| 发表于 2017-11-20 10:13 | 显示全部楼层
第十四章:

P564:They had arrived there full of zeal and empty of nearly everything else,

误:他们带着满腔热情而来,却空手而归,

正:他们来到奥尔巴尼时除了满腔热情之外什么都没带

P565:As a high school student in Nashville, he had so resented James Lawson's rule barring him from the nonviolence workshops as too young that he had crashed some of the Nashville demonstrations.

误:詹姆斯·劳森说他年纪太小,不适合参与非暴力运动工作,他便怀恨在心,破坏了几次在纳什维尔进行的游行示威。

正:詹姆斯.劳森说他年纪太小,不适合参与非暴力运动工作。忿忿不平的里根不请自来地强行参与了纳什维尔的好几场游行示威。

分析:韦氏词典对于crash的解释3,to enter or attend without invitation or without paying。例如 crash the party

P565:to the Albany Kings, Sherrod himself was a young man of mixed qualities.

误:对奥尔巴尼的金一家人来说,谢罗德本身就是个德才兼备的年轻人。

正:就好像非学委对于里根不太放心一样,奥尔巴尼的金家人同样认为谢罗德也是个优点缺点都很突出的年轻人。

P566:High school students from the Youth Council would carry it out, but they would not act in the name of the NAACP and they would avoid arrest.

误:参加青年理事会的高中学生将参与“测试”,但不是以全国有色人种协进会的名义,这样就不会被逮捕了。

正:青年理事会的高中生成员将会参与“测试”,但并不是以协进会的名义,而且还要尽量避免被捕。

P567:It took all day for them to rally the spirits of the Youth Council members enough for nine of them to venture to the Trailways station that same afternoon.

误:两个人花了一整天才让9个青年理事会的成员振奋起精神来,鼓起勇气,当天下午到小径车站去。

正:两个人花了一整天才鼓舞了青年理事会成员的精神。当天下午九名青年理事会成员鼓起勇气来到了小径车站。

P569:By all previous standards, he and C. B. King were leaping into deep caves with only a single match.

误:根据所有以前的标准,韦尔和C.B.金一下子跳进了深渊,而对手只有一个。

正:根据从前的一切标准,韦尔和C.B.金的举动无异于仅凭一根火柴照明就贸然钻进了无底洞窟。

P570:Sherrod and Reagon had reason to be pleased. After about two months' work, they were being incorporated into a leadership organization much broader than anything ever created in McComb.

误:谢罗德和里根很高兴。经过两个月的努力,他们赢得了更广泛的领导力,比之前在麦库姆获得的任何领导地位都高:

正:谢罗德和里根很有理由为自己的工作成果感到欣慰。过去两个月的努力让他们打入了一个新兴团体的领导层,而且这个团体的涵盖面远远超过了麦库姆的任何类似团体。

P571:Although they were almost completely unknown, being from out of town, their plight drew sympathy eclipsing that for the three Youth Council members.

误:尽管他们的名字不为人知,但他们身处异乡,这种困境和那3个青年理事会成员一起激发了人们的同情心。

正:这两个学生都不是本地人,因此当地黑人居民几乎全都不认识他们,但是眼下他们的困境依然引发了可观的同情,以至于先一步入狱的三位青年理事会成员都隐隐有些遭到冷落的意思。

分析:eclipse确实是英中翻译的难词之一。

P573:"I felt it was necessary to show the people that human dignity must be obtained even if through suffering or maltreatment,' she said.

误:“我觉得有必要让人们知道,即使在受苦受难或者被虐待时,也应该保持人类的尊严,”戈伯说,

正:“我觉得有必要让人们知道,即使通过受苦受难或者遭受虐待,也应该实现人类的尊严,”戈伯说道。

P573:and about a third of them stayed on after the benediction to keep singing on their own.

误:大约三分之一的人都留下来继续歌唱,乞求上帝恩赐。

正:大约三分之一的会众在赐福祈祷之后依然留在教堂里继续歌唱。

分析:benediction是专属名词。

P573:Support for them as catalysts had waxed strongly in the recent public meetings,

误:他们像催化剂,在最近的公共集会上膨胀起来,

正:他们是推动当前局势的催化剂,最近的公共集会上对于他们的支持显著增长,

P574:He had helped recruit Tom Hayden, a white activist from the NSA, for a publicity trip to McComb, during which Hayden was dragged from a car and beaten.

误:在去麦库姆的宣传之旅上,福曼还趁着汤姆·海登被拖出车厢痛打的机会,招募了这个国家学联的白人积极分子。

正:此外他还招募了国家学联的白人活动家汤姆.海登(Tom Hayden)参加前往麦库姆的宣传之旅,这次活动期间海登被当地暴徒拖出车厢痛打了一顿。

P574:Having left his wife, children, and two colleges, he had been taken into the household of Wyatt Walker more or less as a ward.

误:离开了妻子、儿女以及两所学院后,李住到怀亚特·沃克家中,多少有点像个看守。

正:他离开了妻子儿女以及两所学院,搬进了怀亚特.沃克家中,多少有点像个受监护人。

P576:"Now, you're not going in just to get right back out,' he added.

误:“你们必须得走进监狱,取出正义,”谢罗德接着说,

正:“你们这次进监狱可不是为了坐一坐就出来,”谢罗德说道。

P577:Still, Pritchett enjoyed the confidence of the commissioners,

误:然而,普里切特对委员们的说法很有信心,

正:尽管双方意见相左,但是普里切特依然得到了市政委员们的信任。

P578:The psychology of the combatants tumbled again, like a pair of wrestlers rolling downhill.

误:抗争者们的心再次坍塌了,像扭在一起的两个摔跤手一起滚落山坡一样。

正:对阵双方的心态再次急转直下,就像扭在一起的两个摔跤手一起滚落山坡一样。

P579:The Alabama libel case against the SCLC and The New York Times lent an urgent practicality to King's speeches to organized labor.

误:针对南方基督教领袖协会的亚拉巴马诽谤案以及《纽约时报》都说明金的演讲在组织劳工方面有紧急且实际的作用。

正:阿拉巴马州政府针对领导大会以及《纽约时报》的诽谤起诉使得金面向有组织劳工的演讲平添了几分迫切而又实际的意味。

P579:If the judgment was sustained, he warned, no union leaflet or fund-raising appeal would be safe from a libel suit, especially in the hostile South.

误:金还警告说,如果维持原判,那么诽谤诉讼将不能为工会宣传册或者资金筹措的请求赢得一席之地,尤其是在充满敌意的南方。

正:金警告说,如果最高法院维持原判,那么任何工会宣传册或者资金筹措呼吁都将难免遭受诽谤诉讼,尤其是在充满敌意的南方。

P580:Gone for a moment were the dull pension plan reports and the wage increase targets, replaced by an orator who revived the energy of a less bureaucratic era.

误:演讲之后是乏味的抚恤金计划报告和薪金增长目标,后来取而代之的是个演说家,他从官僚主义作风尚不盛行的时代汲取了能量。

正:乏味的抚恤金计划报告和薪金增长目标一时间被他们抛在了脑后,因为台上的演说家将他们带回了官僚主义作风在劳工组织当中尚不盛行的时代,重现了在劳联产联内部消失已久的蓬勃活力。

P580:King had budged the center of gravity of organized labor, with all its political tonnage.

误:金通过其沉甸甸的政治地位,撬动了劳工组织的重心。

正:金已经撬动了劳工组织的重心与全副政治吨位。

P580:Zulu chief Albert Luthuli's acceptance of the Nobel Peace Prize in Stockholm.

误:祖鲁主席艾伯特·卢图利在斯德哥尔摩接受诺贝尔和平奖

正:祖鲁酋长阿尔伯特.卢图利在斯德哥尔摩接受诺贝尔和平奖

分析:百度一下就不会犯这种错误。

P582:Emissaries of the Albany Movement took their alarm to Chief Pritchett, who surprised them with an offer to exhibit Sherrod to them in person.

误:奥尔巴尼运动组织内部的间谍们将大家的惊慌告诉了警长普里切特。

正:奥尔巴尼运动的接洽人员将组织内部的惊慌情绪透露给了普里切特警长。

P584:City officials, who refused to bargain directly with Negroes, worked through the buffer of three white private citizens, who themselves refused the social risk of sitting down in the same room with the Negroes.

误:城市长官们拒绝与黑人直接谈判,就找了3个白人公民传话作为折中方法,那3个白人比较孤僻,避免了因与黑人同处一室而带来的社会风险。

正:城市的当权者们拒绝与黑人直接谈判,就找了三个不承担公职的白人公民代为传话,借此避免不得不与黑人同处一室带来的社会风险。

P588:He told the crowd that time was neutral to the history of moral causes. They could not sit back and wait for an inevitable march of progress

误:他告诉会众,道德事业的历史不会多姿多彩。他们不能坐视不管,眼睁睁地等着游行到了不可避免的时候

正:然后他告诉会众,道德事业的历史并不会随着时间的流逝而自动获得胜利。他们不能消极等待不可避免的社会进步

P593:Anderson knew his Bible--the descent of the spirit upon the anointed one at Shiloh, which everyone could feel, the march into Jerusalem, the dungeons and revilement.

误:安德森深谙自己的《圣经》——每个人都感受得到的示罗那个救世主的高贵灵魂,直至耶路撒冷的游行,还有地下城和斥责之音

正:安德森对于圣经了如指掌——圣灵如何在示罗降临在受膏者身上,耶稣如何行进到耶路撒冷,圣徒们如何被投入地牢饱受侮辱。

分析:地下城你妹。

P594:Substituting for King as the main speaker at the previous night's mass meeting, Walker had preached and exhorted, prayed and ducked out to take scores of phone calls.

误:前一天晚上,沃克代替金成了集会的主要发言人,他布道、劝解、祈祷还漏接了几十个电话。

正:他在大会期间使出了全身解数,竭力布道、劝诫与祈祷,还时不时地中途离开会场接听了几十个电话。

P595:Suddenly they saw Abernathy and Walker as movement "pros' in a less exalted sense--as those who trafficked in the ordeals of innocents.

误:一时间,他们眼中阿伯纳斯和沃克作为运动“支持者”的尊贵光环暗淡了一些——那些陷入磨难的无辜之人也如此认为。

正:一时间他们对于阿博纳西与沃克的运动“行家”头衔有了不那么崇高的理解——所谓运动行家就是从无辜者的苦难当中渔利的家伙。

P597:As chairman of the Georgia Democratic Party, Gray had been scheduled to debate Martin Luther King on television in late 1960, but the President-elect, reacting to the startling evidence that the Negro vote had supplied the margin of his victory, had asked his friend to withdraw in favor of James J. Kilpatrick.

误:1960年末,作为佐治亚州民主党主席,格雷要和马丁·路德,金进行电视辩论,但总统当选人知道了黑人的选票造就了自己的胜利,十分震惊,便让朋友为了詹姆斯.J.基尔帕特里克退出辩论。

正:1960年末,作为佐治亚州民主党主席,格雷曾经安排了一场与马丁.路德.金之间的电视辩论,但是当选总统面对着黑人选票为自己带来获胜优势的惊人证据,于是赶紧要求自己的朋友退出这次辩论,取代格雷的辩手则是将金挤兑得不轻的詹姆斯.J.基尔帕特里克。

P599:Bail requirements had been swept away to free hundreds of unjustly arrested protesters, and the City Commission had promised to appoint a biracial commission to address the segregation issue as a whole.

误:几百位受冤被捕的抗议者们不必交纳保释金就能出狱,而且城市委员会还保证指派一位混血儿整体解决种族隔离问题。

正:几百位受冤被捕的抗议者们不必交纳保释金就能出狱,而且市政委员会还保证指派一个由黑白双方组成的委员会共同解决种族隔离问题。

分析:误译的口味太重了。

 

P599:"In appreciation for the accurate coverage of Albany's difficulties,' as they announced it, Albany leaders treated white members of "the national and international press corps' to a steak dinner Monday night at the Radium Springs club where James Gray had played golf with John Kennedy.

误:他们宣布,“为了感谢对奥尔巴尼困境的精准报道”,奥尔巴尼的领导人们把白人们当成“国家及国际媒体警察”对待,邀请他们周一在詹姆斯·格雷和约翰,肯尼迪打过高尔夫的镭泉俱乐部参加牛排晚宴。

正:“为了感谢对奥尔巴尼困境的精准报道”,奥尔巴尼市政当局邀请“国家及国际媒体队伍”的白人成员们在周一前往詹姆斯.格雷和约翰.肯尼迪打过高尔夫的镭泉俱乐部参加牛排晚宴。

P602:He did not bother to address their grievances against him until Charles Jones made some headway in convincing Harry Belafonte that Walker's autocratic style was dividing the movement.

误:但查尔斯,琼斯首肯哈里·贝拉方特认为沃克的独裁正在分裂运动的说法前,他根本不会费力解决那些人的不满。

正:一开始沃克根本不打算理会非学委对他的负面看法,直到后来查尔斯.琼斯在一定程度上说服了哈里.贝拉方特相信沃克的独裁正在分裂民权运动,他这才有所警觉

P604:Walker acknowledged few peers in composure, but he did humble himself before King's phenomenal personal ballast.

误:沃克沉着地感谢了几位同道中人,但在金非凡的个人魅力前,他表现得非常谦卑。

正:沃克的眼光甚高,极少认可其他人,但在金的非凡个人魅力前他总是表现得非常谦卑。
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发表于 2017-11-20 10:51 | 显示全部楼层
你这不是替别人勘误,是在替百度勘误啊。很多翻译工作室都是用程序批量翻译,然后人工调整得通顺一点罢了。
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 楼主| 发表于 2017-12-13 14:42 | 显示全部楼层
第十五章:

P608:Kennedy made no recorded response, perhaps because he dismissed the notion that he was personally vulnerable to Communist manipulation.
误:肯尼迪的反应并没有记录可查,也许是因为他并不接受自己在共产党的操纵下并非无懈可击的说法。
正:罗伯特并没有留下有记录可查的反应。也许是因为他觉得自己受到美共操纵的说法根本不值一驳。
    
P609:By this, his first written assessment of King, Hoover marked him for FBI hostility in advance of any investigation.
误:有鉴于此,在对金的首份书面评估中,胡佛指明了联邦调查局对金的敌意应超越任何调查。
正:这是胡佛针对金的第一份书面评估。在正式开始任何调查活动之前,胡佛就已经将金树立成为了联邦调查局的打击对象。
分析:胡佛毕竟不敢像误译描写的那样嚣张。

P613:A generation later, motels having sprung up everywhere, this same Hoover went to the White House for a discussion that would have made a Borgia or Medici feel at home.
误:一代人之后,汽车旅馆已随处可见,而胡佛却又到了白宫,讨论如何能让博尔吉亚以及梅第奇有宾至如归之感。
正:一代人之后,汽车旅馆已随处可见,而胡佛却又在白宫里大谈特谈床笫之事,即便素以荒淫著称的波吉亚家族或者美第奇家族成员听到他的言论也肯定会有宾至如归之感。
分析:误译可谓是生吞活剥得很了。

P614:Grooms gave five of the men a year's probation. He allowed the sixth to serve a term concurrent with a prior burglary sentence.
误:但其中6人获得了一年的缓刑,而且格鲁姆斯还允许剩下的那个服兵役,抵消之前因强盗行径而获得的刑期。
正:格鲁姆斯判处其中五人缓刑一年,还允许第六人依靠此前的盗窃罪刑期来抵消本案刑期。

P614:The time is coming when the police won't protect us, the mayor and [police] commissioner won't think with clear minds.
误:我们必须做好准备。警察不会再保护我们,市长和(警察)专员们神志不清时,就到了那个时刻。
正:我们必须做好准备。警察不再保护我们、市长与警务专员们胡乱行事的时刻必然会到来。

P617:With defiant relish, he described the boycott as "like Ivory Soap--99 and 44/100ths percent pure.'
误:带着一股挑衅的意味,夏特沃斯说这次抵制就像“象牙皂——纯度为99%和44%”。
正:他挑衅地表示,这次抵制就像“象牙牌肥皂一样,纯度达到了99.44%。”
分析:高中的知识点都能出错。

P618:During World War II, he ferried war cargoes under destroyer escort for the Coast Guard merchant marine,
误:在第二次世界大战期间,他在护航驱逐舰的保护下,为海岸警卫队商船运送战争物资。
正:在二战期间,他曾经加入海岸警卫队商船队,在驱逐舰的保护下运送战争物资。

P620:In literacy classes, she worked upward from street signs and newspapers to the portions of the state constitutions required for voter registration.
误:在识字课上,她按照州宪法选民登记的要求,充分利用了大街上的标志和报纸上的消息。
正:在识字课上,她从辨识路牌与报纸大标题开始讲起,一直讲到参加选民登记所必须掌握的州宪法内容。

P624:They respected him as one of SNCC's prime benefactors, and they conceded his point that no other leader would tolerate their effrontery.
误:他们尊重贝拉方特,因为贝拉方特是学生非暴力统筹委员会的主要捐助者之一,而且,他们也承认只有贝拉方特能容忍自己的粗暴武力。
正:他们尊重贝拉方特,因为贝拉方特是非学委主要捐助者之一。此外他们也不得不认可贝拉方特的另一个论点:除了金之外其他任何一位民权领袖都不会容忍他们的牢骚怪话。

P626:Because the issues in the lawsuit threatened labor organizers in the South as well as Negroes,
误:此外,诉讼也威胁到了南方的劳工组织者和黑人们,
正:此外这场诉讼不仅威胁到了黑人,还连带威胁到了南方劳工组织,

P629:Levison's work in King's behalf, while intense to the point of obsession, turned out to be mundane stuff for an alleged Communist agent.
误:尽管利维森非常执着,但他代表金做的事却成了被认为是美国共产党代理人处理的世俗之事。
正:利维森代表金出面工作的时候确实尽心尽力,甚至有些偏执。但是对于一名所谓的美共暗桩来说,这些事务只能用鸡毛蒜皮来形容,与颠覆民主制度之类的大目标根本不沾边。
     
P630:The Levison coverage was an instant boon to the FBI's political intelligence function, allowing Hoover to appear omniscient.
误:对利维森的监听给联邦调查局在政治情报方面立刻带来了好处,而胡佛表面上也是无所不知。
正:针对利维森的监听立刻在政治情报方面给联邦调查局带来了好处,让胡佛得以摆出一副无所不知的派头。

P631:In the official Washington of that season, King was hardly a commanding political presence even for his admirers in high places.
误:对身处高位且崇拜金的人来说,金已经很难说是一个威风凛凛的政治人物了。
正:在眼下的华盛顿政治圈子里,即便那些仰慕金的政府高层人员也并不觉得金是一位气势逼人的政治人物。

P634:King tried to make a joke of it, saying that he already drew a salary from the SCLC: one dollar a year, so that he could qualify for the health plan.
误:金想借此开个玩笑,说自己确实能从南方基督教领袖协会拿到薪水:每年一美元,足够他健康计划的开销了。
正:金原本想开个玩笑。他说领导大会一直都在给他支付薪水:每年一美元,好让他有资格申请医保。

P638:and the Birmingham Barons had dissolved that spring rather than comply with integration in baseball's Southern Association.
误:那个春天,伯明翰的男爵们不仅没有配合棒球南部联盟联合棒球赛的要求,反而解散了棒球队。
正:伯明翰男爵队也在当年春天解散了,因为球队拒绝配合南方棒球联盟的种族融合政策。

P639:The Atlanta FBI office anticipated trouble, however: managers of the Atlanta Cabana's plush restaurant, the King's Inn, intended to refuse service to any Negroes who tried to eat there, celebrities or not.
误:联邦调查局亚特兰大办公室以为会有麻烦,然而亚特兰大卡班纳豪华餐厅国王旅馆的经理们本打算拒绝向任何想在这里用餐的黑人提供服务,无论他是否是名人。
正:不过联邦调查局亚特兰大分部认为贝拉方特与金的做法肯定会招来麻烦。亚特兰大卡班纳豪华餐厅国王旅馆的经理们不打算向任何想在这里用餐的黑人提供服务,无论他是否出名。

P643:Also from the beginning, Hoover laid down admonitions of secrecy in language suggesting that, over the decades, his sense of democratic duty had given way to the sly vanity of a monarch.
误:但从一开始,也正是胡佛发出了保密的警告,暗示说几十年来,他对民主责任的看法向王室狡猾的虚荣让路了。
正:同样从一开始胡佛就告诫手下人要对调查活动严格保密。从他的措辞来看,他对于民主制度的责任感正在消退,身为情报界帝王的隐秘虚荣心悄然占据了上风。
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 楼主| 发表于 2018-1-3 09:18 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 万年看客 于 2018-1-3 09:23 编辑

第十六章

P649:Vice President Lyndon Johnson was shown huddling with excited scientists, all watching themselves on television in the act of watching themselves, in the infinite regression of the media age.
误:副总统林登·约翰逊与激动的科学家坐在小会议室里,所有人都盯着电视里的自己,缅怀纸媒时代的衰落。
正:副总统林登.约翰逊与一群激动的科学家们坐在小会议室里,所有人都盯着电视屏幕,屏幕里面正在直播他们坐在会议室里看电视的场景。只有在当代传媒当中才会出现像这样观看与被观看双方无限递归的景象。
分析:regression一词想来对原译者来说有些超纲了。

P654:This provided a patriotic salve, making their hoax certainly bearable and almost noble.

误:肯尼迪的一席话让他们成了爱国主义的奴隶,显然让这场骗局变得可以忍受,甚至都有些高尚了。

正:根据司法部长的爱国主义高调,这场骗局不仅变得可以忍受,甚至还挂上了几分高尚的色彩。

P663:For James Forman, it was being older than King and yet dwarfed like a child by his heavily credentialed fame.

误:而詹姆斯·福曼则说金年纪渐长,却被自己深受信任的名声所累,变成了懦弱的小孩子。

正:詹姆斯.福曼则指出,尽管自己比金更年长,但是金的赫赫名声却总会把他压制得如同幼儿一般抬不起头来。

P664:In later years, he jokingly gave thanks for the stamina that allowed him to accomplish something positive in Albany that weekend, when his fourth child, Bernice, was conceived.

误:后来几年,金还轻松地感谢了这个周末,奥尔巴尼的活力还真的让他收获了一些——柯瑞塔有了他们的第四个孩子柏妮丝

正:日后金曾经半开玩笑地夸耀过自己精力过人,因为这个奥尔巴尼的周末对他来说并非全然徒劳无功——柯瑞塔就是在这一天晚上怀上了他们的第四个孩子柏妮丝。? ?

P669:why no more than the current 51 Negroes, out of the county's 8,209, need be registered to vote.

误:全县8209位黑人只需要有51个人登记投票就可以了

正:除了目前的五十一名黑人登记选民之外,全县其余的八千二百零九名黑人全都不该登记

P671:King and Abernathy were leading inmates in freedom songs and personal statements of witness that night when Chief Pritchett unlocked the door and beckoned to King.

误:当晚,普里切特警长锁上门,给金打过招呼离开后,金和阿伯纳斯就带领狱友们唱起了表达自由的歌曲,还讲述了自己的所见所闻。

正:当晚,金和阿博纳西正在带领狱友们歌唱自由歌曲,组织大家轮流讲述自己在运动期间的见闻。这时普里切特警长打开牢房门,让金出来一下,

P675:two ambitious Bostonians, who have been as practically connected with the American Negro in their lifetimes as Eskimos are to the Congo Democrats.

误:两个有野心的波士顿人,如爱斯基摩人和刚果民主党人一样,终生与美国的黑人相勾结

正:两个有野心的波士顿人,他们有生以来与美国黑人的联系并不比爱斯基摩人与刚果民主党之间的联系更加务实
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 楼主| 发表于 2018-1-3 09:24 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 万年看客 于 2018-1-3 09:26 编辑

P649:The ** was trivial in comparison with the feat itself
误:与歌曲节奏相比,电波传来的照片确实微不足道,

正:与跨大洋直播的事迹本身相比,直播画面内容其实并没有多大关系。


好奇怪的屏蔽规则
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 楼主| 发表于 2018-1-22 17:32 | 显示全部楼层
第十七章:

P686:Aside from that, Roy Wilkins did not want to spend money through SNCC, which he considered irresponsible, and certainly not through SNCC in Mississippi, which he considered an NAACP state.
误:他当然更不会通过学生非暴力统筹委员会密西西比分会花钱,因为他认为那是全国有色人种协进会应该负责的事务。
正:此外,罗伊.威尔金斯不想通过非学委来花钱,认为这样做不负责任。他当然更不会通过非学委密西西比分会花钱,因为他认为密西西比州历来都是协进会的地盘

P686:These obstacles easily would have eliminated registration funds for Mississippi had not Wiley Branton emerged as a most unusual bureaucrat.
误:如果威利·布兰顿并非最不同寻常的官僚主义者,那么上述问题就很好解决。
正:如果说威利.布兰顿的官场手段稍微平庸一些,上述障碍早就把密西西比州的选民登记项目资金截断了。

P686:It would allow those in the church to act on their mutual trust while protecting them from political rivalries among distant national leaders.
误:因此,与会各方可以相互信任而行动,同时还能在国家领导中政治反对者面前形成保护伞。
正:各位与会者在工作当中都可以采用这个掩护组织的旗号,凭借相互信任采取配合行动。尽管大家都来自不同的民权团体,千里之外的全国级别团体领导人之间少不了相互较劲,但是他们这些基层办事人员总还可以凭借这个掩护组织来免受神仙打架的牵连。

P687:This arrest, while legally indefensible, was not quite flimsy enough for a lawyer like Branton to beat down with words.
误:这次逮捕从法律角度看无懈可击,像布兰顿这样的律师也无法靠三寸不烂之舌改变这一个结果。
正:这次逮捕尽管从法律角度来看完全站不住脚,但也不是像布兰顿这样的律师仅凭唇枪舌剑就能当场解决的。

P688:Judge Elliott already had denied the Justice Department's request for an injunction based on Sheriff Mathews' highly publicized raid at Mount Olive in July,
误:艾略特法官拒绝了司法部对马修斯警长7月对橄榄山浸信会教堂的突然袭击发出禁止令的要求。
正:自从7月份马修斯警长突袭橄榄山浸信会教堂之后,司法部就要求为这座教堂申请禁止令,但是艾略特法官始终没有批准。

P689:……and sent copies to SNCC, the FBI, the Justice Department, the news media, and Martin Luther King, anticipating correctly that white officials would move to consolidate the advantages gained by terror.
误:他分别给学生非暴力统筹委员会、联邦调查局、司法部、新闻媒体和马丁·路德·金寄送了一份,希望白人官员能采取措施,巩固由恐吓得来的优势。
正:他分别给非学委、联邦调查局、司法部、新闻媒体和马丁.路德.金寄送了一份报告,并且在文中做出了一项准确预测:白人官员必定将会采取进一步措施巩固暴力恐吓带给他们的优势。

P691:In the summer of 1862, Lincoln had surprised his cabinet with a private reading of his original draft proclamation, which abolished slavery in the areas under Confederate rebellion.
误:1862年夏天,林肯宣读了自己宣言草案,让内阁成员为之震惊,也在邦联军的反叛下废除了奴隶制。
正:1862年夏天,林肯在一次私密会议上向内阁成员们宣读了《解放宣言》草案,把所有人都吓了一跳。宣言废除了邦联军控制地区的奴隶制。

P691:For these reasons and others, Lincoln ignored the objections of some of his cabinet members, saying that he would make public his proclamation as soon as the Union Army achieved a victory in battle.
误:出于上述原因及其他原因,林肯无视一些内阁成员的反对,在联邦军获得胜利的那一刻宣布了自己的宣言。
正:通盘考虑之后,林肯无视一部分内阁成员的反对,表示自己将会在联邦军获得下一场胜利的时候公布这份宣言。

P694:What was new in Birmingham was an undercurrent of impending collision that belied the surface calm of the gala banquets and the usual long-winded committee meetings.
误:伯明翰的新事件是庆祝宴会表面的平静下,潜在的冲突暗流涌动以及冗长的委员会会议。
正:惯常的庆祝宴会与冗长的委员会会议维持着表面的平静,潜在的冲突则在表层之下暗流涌动。

P695:Shortridge was Shuttlesworth's treasurer and "Connectional man,' a whirlwind funeral director of Daddy King's generation, Howard '23, and King Jr.'s fraternity, Alpha Phi Alpha.
误:萧瑞吉是金父亲那个年代在霍华德23号工作的雷厉风行的丧礼负责人,也是金APA兄弟会的成员,负责夏特沃斯的财务事项,也充当他的“外联人员”
正:这封信的收信人名叫威廉.肖特里奇(William Shortridge)。此人是夏特沃斯的副官,担任教会司库以及负责“日常联络”。他的本职工作是葬礼承接人,说话办事雷厉风行。他是金老爹的同辈,是1923届霍华德大学毕业生,与小金一样都是 Alpha Phi Alpha兄弟会的成员。

P695:When night riders sprayed his home with gunfire the previous March, Shortridge had dived safely for cover behind the wall of his front porch as the first slug zipped through the front wall and knocked the telephone receiver from his wife's hand.
误:3月,夜晚骑马而来的蒙面人用枪弹洗劫他家时,萧瑞吉躲在前廊的墙后面,安全地躲过了第一波子弹,还一把把听筒从妻子手中打掉了。
正:这一年3月,一群蒙面骑手趁夜色向他家倾泻了一通子弹。肖特里奇趴在前廊墙壁后面,安全地躲过了扫射。她妻子手中的电话听筒则被第一颗子弹打飞了。

P697:In the end, a fragile bargain was struck.
误:最后,一场脆弱的讨价还价停滞了。
正:这次谈判最终达成了脆弱的协议。

P698:In short, they became more like Communists to the Bureau, and it was seen as no small confirmation on that score that the man in charge of Dorchester was Jack O’Dell.
误:简而言之,他们在联邦调查局眼里更像是美国共产党,而且在这一点上,没有任何迹象表明多尔切斯特学校的负责人是杰克·奥德尔。
正:简而言之,游行者在联邦调查局眼里越来越像美共了。至于多尔切斯特学校的负责人是杰克.奥德尔这一点更被视为民权运动受到美共指使的铁证。

P698:Jackie Robinson, recently elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame, also arrived for the convention that night, but the Birmingham police refused to allow him a motorcade to the church.
误:刚刚入选棒球名人堂的杰基·罗宾逊当晚也赶来参加大会,但伯明翰的警察拒绝让他骑摩托车去教堂。
正:刚刚入选棒球名人堂的杰基.罗宾逊当晚也赶来参加大会,但伯明翰的警察拒绝让球迷组成的车队陪同他一起前往教堂。

P699:Publicly, the SCLC convention in Birmingham caused about as much stir as a Rotary luncheon
误:从公众角度看,南方基督教领袖协会伯明翰大会引起的轰动不亚于扶轮俱乐部的午餐会。
正:从公共舆论的角度来看,领导大会伯明翰年会就像一场扶轮社午餐会那样波澜不惊。

P712:This was as close to, and yet as far from, the fervor of a Negro mass meeting as segregationists came.
误:和黑人在种族隔离主义者到来时的狂热相比,这种情绪既非常相似又相差甚远。
正:就现场气氛而言,这是种族隔离主义者能够搞出来的最接近黑人弥撒大会的场面,但是支持气氛的情绪却天差地别。

P713:Barnett pleaded. Couldn't the feds at least storm fences and barricades around the campus?
误:巴内特开始恳求肯尼迪。政府工作人员不能至少在校园周围设置围栏或者路障吗?
正:巴内特只得放低身段恳求起来。联邦政府的人马难道就不能至少冲击一下校园周围的围栏或者路障吗?

P714:"Why don't you fly him in this afternoon?'
误:“您下午何不和他一起搭飞机来?”
正:“您为什么不用飞机在下午把他送过来呢?”

P716:Senator George Yarbrough was making no secret of his intention to withdraw the highway patrolmen from the scene.
误:参议员乔治·亚伯勒对自己的目的毫不遮掩,让高速公路巡警撤出了现场。
正:这位乔治.亚伯勒参议员(George Yarbrough)毫不遮掩自己的意图,命令巡警撤出了现场。

P717:Under the circumstances, the facts of the incipient riot fought their way up the pecking order in remarkably good time.
误:这种情况下,初期暴乱愈演愈烈,抓住了这一绝佳时机,奋力向前。
正:考虑到现场环境如此纷繁混乱,暴乱肇始的事实在联邦政府指挥链上奋力上传的速度可以说非常迅速。

P723:"I have a hunch that Khrushchev would get those troops in fast enough,' O’Donnell sighed. "That's what worries me about the whole thing.'
误:“我有预感,赫鲁晓夫很快就会派兵了,”奥唐纳叹息道,“这就是整件事里最让我担心的。”
正:“我觉得如果让赫鲁晓夫来办这档子事,军队肯定早早就派遣到位了,”奥唐纳感叹道,“我怕的就是这个啊。”

P724:No fewer than 10,000 troops scrambled for a riot alarm on the night of October 11, surrounding what turned out to be a pre-engagement "pinning' serenade on the porch of a sorority house.
误:10月11日晚上,至少有一万名士兵因暴乱警报而凑到一起,包围了最后证明是预先安排好的活动——把小夜曲“钉”在女生联谊会所的走廊上。
正:10月11日晚上至少有一万名士兵收到暴乱警报之后集结出动,将事发地点团团围住,结果却发现所谓的事发地点其实是密西西比大学某姐妹会总部,所谓的暴乱也只是即将订婚的男青年在姐妹会的门廊里为准未婚妻唱情歌而已。

P726:The Ole Miss crisis left people feeling victimized on all sides.
误:密西西比大学危机让人们觉得,从各个方面看,自己都被伤害了。
正:密西西比大学危机致使各方面的人们都感到自己遭受了伤害。
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